STARTING OVER……

 would you like to start your life again from scratch ?

What are my thoughts for today ?

My thoughts are very jumbled today , so I’ve had my medication (a joint of cannabis), And I am slowly calming my thoughts.

As I have Autism and multiple personality disorder my thoughts can be hard to separate, it is a constant fast flowing river of thoughts. Cannabis allows me to make some sense of my disorder. 

I’m pretty sure it’s 13 year old Betty who is fronting at the moment, since receiving our diagnosis of multiple personality disorder 2 days ago, she has been in charge. 

Fucking furious Betty we call her., she is still so annoyed at the injustice of our lives, she needs someone to blame, so she’s blaming others for how she is feeling. She finally feels vindicated that after all of these years of trying to tell people there was something wrong, She finally has proof ..I think this Betty also has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I have been in and out of the mental health system since I was around 13 years of age. Here I am now at the ripe old age of 50, and finally have a diagnosis.. my life now makes sense, although you might find that difficult to believe, obtaining that diagnosis has allowed me to heal..

Smoking cannabis has allowed me to think 

its also a pretty cool thing for a 13yr old to be doing …maybe if someone had given me cannabis at 13 things would have been different…

Meditation has shown me inner peace

When your mind is in inner turmoil, peace is salvation…

It has shown me how clever your unconscious can be..

my unconscious mind has taken me to many undiscovered places, and reminded me of places I had been going to all of my life.

It has allowed me to know who I am from the inside out. And to love myself from birth until now, the way it should have been 50 years ago.

What an amazing opportunity to live your life again.. 

Writing has shown me I have passion

Drawing has healed the parts of me that were never given the chance to grow, to be able to show my abilities  through writing and drawing, is so cathartic, every word I write, every picture I draw is a step to self discovery .. and more ..