I am sitting at the top of the garden ruminating again, as I am want to do.
My mind goes to one of my oldest friends Rita.
Rita is what I call my fair weathered friend.
Rita only wants to be around me when it suits her. Take for instance my recent breakdown, Rita was aware of the situation, but has never called to see how I am, or popped around to see me, you can guarantee that she hasn’t even gave me a minutes thought, until yesterday.
Rita has her 50th birthday party coming up and she needs someone to bake her pies like I normally do.
Under the disguise of asking me to her party, we struck up a conversation when she realised that I had deleted her off Facebook.
I had deleted her 3 months ago and she had only just noticed now, because she needed me. Upon telling her that I hadn’t been out of the house for 3 months, she suggested coming up to see me the very next day. Always willing to see an old friend I told her my door was always open.
Needless to say Rita had already found something better to do, i wasn’t coming to her party, and I wasn’t baking her pies….so off she went to the pub, all with no phone call or explanation as to why she hadn’t turned up
I spent the day knowing why she wouldn’t turn up.Rita suffers from what I call selfish git syndrome.
Otherwise known as Narcissistic personality disorder.
I have been surrounded by these people all of my life, and have learned to recognise them. They are everywhere, and these people are often disguised as the people that we love.
Our mothers and fathers, our siblings even our children, and the chances are you’ll recognise one or two on your friends list.
You will know who some of these people are.
I say some, because the selfish git syndrome is a spectrum. Just like autism, if they are only slightly affected by the selfish git syndrome, then you will know they are a selfish git, and try to keep them at arms length.
If however they are at the extreme end of the spectrum, this now becomes life threatening, run for the hills as fast as you possibly can. It has taken me 50 years to be free from Narcissistic parents, friends, and even the big bad monster Bob the Knob, my ex narcissistic partner who almost ended my life.
These people feed off your kind personality and suck you dry, until you can no longer think for yourself, you lose all confidence, you are alienated from your family, and all the while thinking there must be something wrong with you.
It is not ok for people to put their feelings before yours, to trample over your feelings. We are all equal in the feeling department. If you feel that you aren’t good enough when you are around somebody ditch them.
It doesn’t matter who they are, you don’t have to fall out with them, just limit your time with them.
If you do come across the big bad wolf however, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, covering your tracks as you go. These can be extremely dangerous people to be around, they may not hurt you physically, but the mental abuse is a killer.
Don’t be a little red riding hood, run for the hills. Love Betty x