How To Finally Get That Long Awaited Erection.

How To Finally Get that Long  Awaited Erection 

It is finally here, the day that  I have been waiting for for 3 months, the erection of ‘The Joint’ at the top of the garden. 

It is definitely here, it is on the back of the van, and they are unloading as I speak, I am sitting here ready and eager to supervise this long awaited erection. 

The builder teas are on the table, it is that strong you can stand the spoon up in it, and there are plenty of biscuits to keep sugar levels up. 

I have severe mental health difficulties that prevent me from leaving the house, so my life tends to be focused more now on what makes me happy. 

My new summerhouse will be the icing on the cake, my very own She Shed, The Joint at the top of the Garden. 

3 months ago I had a vision, I would retire from a life that I could no longer sustain in the outside world, and live happily ever after at ‘The Joint’ at the top of the garden. There I would be able to meditate, write, paint, and be at one with nature, and myself.

Here I could not only heal myself, I could heal others with my words. 

Just because the temporary accommodation  was only a 6ft shed full of spades and tools this hasn’t stopped me from healing myself, or from healing others, I have just been cold and wet doing it. 

Being a single parent to an Autistic Teen, who also has Tourette’s Syndrome, can be quite hectic and noisy, trying to meditate in these circumstances can be difficult, with my new She Shed I will be able to meditate in silence, with only the sounds of nature all around me. 

Darren & Michael have been hard at it, I’m sure the Ham wraps, crisps and chocolate have helped somewhat. 

My Erection is almost fully complete. 

And it’s up.. I finally have my erection thanks to these two handsome chaps, Darren and Michael, they did an amazing job and I couldn’t be happier. Their Boss on the other hand is a different story, but I shall save that for my review of this beautiful piece of woodwork.

The smell inside is delicious, it reminds me of an Alpine lodge, I feel like Heidi, and I can’t wait for the snow to arrive. 

But think even older that that.. Heidi is now 50, she’s a grandma herself. And she has finally found her retirement home. 

I am not really bong eyed…

Now for the interior design , kizzy seems to like it too. 

i’m not sure if she likes the joint, or wants the chocolate ?

To obtain the best possible erection, keep your erectors happy with tea and biscuits, encourage them to do a good job, and your erection will last for many years to come. 

Happy erection day to me, love Heidi, Betty and the gang x 


3 Facts About Erection That’ll Keep You Up at Night.

I have Autism, whether that fact is applicable to this situation, remains to be seen. 

Today my blog was going to be about my new summerhouse, AKA The Joint at the top of the garden. 

My new summerhouse is being erected today and I am over excited to the point that I haven’t been sleeping properly because of it. 

I needed a catchy headline, because let’s face it, who cares if I’m having a summerhouse erected today, it isn’t exactly the hot topic of the century. 

Well it is to me, I have saved hard to have my own little She Shed, and I simply just can’t wait to use it. 

So using Portents Content Generator, I typed in the word erection, for a catchy title. Job done. 

I then typed the word ‘erection’ into google images for a picture to accompany my title. 

This is where I realised for the first time that even google has a filthy mind. 

I really struggled to find any  erection picture other than that of the male penis kind.  

So although what I really wanted to do was to talk about my new She Shed, I find myself trawling through erect penis pictures, and thinking far too much about the male penis. 

I have been single now for 10 years, and I have eyeballed more erect penises in the last 5 minutes, than I have in the last 10 years. 

Cheers for that google, another restless night for me, thinking about Pricks again. 

And for anybody who is actually interested in my new She Shed, I shall keep you all updated, when the two Dicks who are busy erecting it, get done. 

New note.. sadly I lost my erection on Monday, a new erection date has been now been confirmed for Friday, so tune in folks for my long awaited erection Betty x