Not Dead Yet a Newbie Guide to Blogging.

the view from my back lane ..

I’m ‘not dead yet’ on my blogging journey, although my readers probably think that I am. I can’t remember the last time I even posted a Blog, but I have hundreds of unpublished drafts clogging up my storage space.

I am into my 7th month of Blogging, and something has been stopping me from hitting that publish button.

I follow many pro bloggers including Ryan Biddulph, who blogs from paradise (who wouldn’t want to) and Cristian Mihai’s The Art of blogging who’s perfected the art of blogging, share vital information for helping understand some of the processes that you go through on your blogging journey.

It is simply a lack of blogging Self belief, or blogging self Worth, that stops us from pressing that button.

I know that I have what it takes to be a good blogger, my intention is to be a good blogger, but this will never happen unless I feel the fear of nobody liking my blogs, feel the fear of nobody even reading them, and feel the fear that this may all have been a waste of time…. and just do it anyway.

Thankfully having mentors by the likes of these top bloggers who share their experiences and helpful tips with us newbies, I realise that this is a process which all bloggers go through, even Ryan and Cristian as successful as they are now, also went through this stage.

So I am facing my fear today and pressing the publish button whether I like it or not. I accept all responsibility for any typos or spelling mistakes found in this blog, because the sooner I hit that button the better. In cases like this editing is just another excuse not to publish, so It’s best to just dive in at the deep end, and paddle like mad.

If like me you are a tiny tadpole swimming in these blog infested waters, watch what the big bloggers do, take all the advice that they give you, because at the end of the day, they’ve already lived the blogging journey that you are now embarking on.

A new Year a new start, so I am starting the year as I mean to go on, just pressing the publish button, one blog at a time.

Where are you on your blogging journey ? are you feeling that fear ? If you are a top blogger do you still occasionally feel it ? I would love to know your thoughts on this.

thanks for stopping by….love Betty

my new neighbour Gertrude, just moved in yesterday.

How To Blog Whilst Walking The Fine Line Between Sanity & Insanity

moonlight through the trees

The view from karensjointatthetopofthegarden.com

Many of you may wonder why my website address has the name Karen in it. 

Many moons ago I was once known as Karen. After a huge mental health crisis which almost took my life, a new name change came about. 

I was no longer Barren Karen, and I morphed overnight into Blogging Betty. 

Unfortunately before the morph took place, our website had already been established. 

Changing the name of a domain etc is just not worth the hassle, so in loving memory of our dearly departed Karen, the name will stay. 

As most of you are aware I have severe mental illnesses, and spend a lot of time healing my fractured mind, by doing any kind of therapy that I can think of.

baking therapy…one of my many therapies. galaxy chocolate chunk cookies with ice cold milk for dunking.

I am currently sitting in the joint at the top of the garden doing some of my other therapies.

I’ve got one hand on my MacBook and the other one is smoking a reefer. 

It’s dark and cold outside, but it’s so quiet, comfy and peaceful up here. I now have electricity and heat, which is a welcome bonus now that its way below zero, and the middle of December. The only sound I can hear is the odd hoot from a Tawny owl looking for his supper.

taken in my garden last week, the unique ice crystals on fallen leaves

I am sitting here meditating, trying to get out of my own way, so that I can blog tonight. 

I love Blogging. 

Yes I found it late in life, but better late than never, as my old grandad used to say. 

Unfortunately because I found it later in life, and because my mental health issues get in the way, I often find myself wondering if I will ever become a top blogger. 

I’ve been blogging now for around 6 months. In that 6 months I have learned a lot. Not only about blogging, but about myself. 

Being on so many different journeys at once is amazing. 

A journey of self discovery,  a spiritual journey, healing from trauma, self acceptance journey, and my blogging journey all take up most of my time. 

Being an Autistic single parent at the ripe old age of 50, to a 15 year old son who also has Autism with severe Anxiety, and Tourette’s Syndrome, takes up a fair bit of my time too. 

Does this mean I don’t have the time to be a top Blogger ? 

How much time do you need to spend on your blog to be a top Blogger ? 

Since I started blogging I have been following a few top bloggers, but finally found my soul mate in Ryan Biddulph. 

He doesn’t know we’re soul mates, but I do and that’s all that counts. 

Apart from the fact he’s a very handsome chap, he gives out fantastic advice, and if I had more hours in the day I’m sure I would be a top earning blogger just like him by now. 

So as I sit here wondering where I can find the extra hours to follow Ryan Biddulph’s advice, I realise that I am already doing it. Because those of us who walk that fine line between sanity and insanity are juggling so many balls at once, the fact that every time they even publish a blog it’s a huge achievement. 

doesn’t mention that it helps with blogging, but ill try anything… my new daily multivitamin for over 50’s not sure whether to laugh or cry…

Little steps on this journey we call life. 

keep on keeping on… ‘All Bloggers Rock’ love Betty x

Breaking News ‘Blogging Betty Found Safe and Well

Blogging Betty has been found safe and well,  in amongst the tangled life of Betty’s bunch.

She seems to be suffering from amnesia, and has no idea of her wherabouts for the entire month that she has been missing.

‘It’s all a blur,’ says blogging Betty, who looks well enough sitting in the joint at the top of the garden. 

“One minute I was blogging away, making friends and building up my blog following, when bam I woke up, and weeks have passed. 

Nothing has been done, karensjointatthetopofthegarden.com remains dormant. I love that the house seems much tidier and festive now,than before I left.

And there’s lots of home made food lying around. 

Everybody looks happy..

I only wish that someone had remembered to press publish on my blogs. It’s not much to ask for” she added.

A spokesperson for Betty’s Bunch said ‘we’re just pleased that Blogging Betty is home. She’s a bit grumpy about the fact we forgot about her blogs, but other than that she seems fine”. 

“It looks like the clean house won’t last now that Blogging Betty is back, she hates cleaning with a passion. She feels that she has much more important things to do in life than clean” said one member of the Bunch, who didn’t wish to be named for fear of repercussion. 

“Blogging Betty’s idea of cleaning is to leave the vacuum plugged in indefinitely, so that if anybody visits she can say ‘oh you’ve just caught me about to vacuum’ (It’s the thought that counts.) Or she’ll hope that the fairies will do it at some point or another. 

Blogging Betty is so passionate about writing, that nothing else gets done around the house, explain Betty’s Bunch.

We help out as much as we can, but  she doesn’t accept help very easily, we’re working on it. 

Blogging Betty is said to be resuming duties with immediate effect, and is now again the leader of the pack. 

we made a welcome home painting …

Blogging Betty would like to thank everybody for their patience whilst she has been missing in action. She thanks the Bunch for holding the fort whilst she was gone, and for baking enough food to feed an army.

She remains optimistic that her memory will return, and her blogging journey will continue on as before. “There’s a lot of work to catch up on, but i’m sure things will only get better”. ‘Don’t ever give up on finding yourself again, it’s always worth it.”

She and the Bunch would like some time to come to terms with the fact that their Triberr is broken. Time to rebuild the foundations that went into creating Triberr from scratch. Betty is sure that the knowledge is in her somewhere, it just may take some time to find it.

Winter Wonderings, Should Narcissistic People Have Children ?

a small stream prettily frozen over..

Winter is finally here, in the small village on the outskirts of Newcastle, where I live with my teenage son, and our two dogs Maggie and kizzy.

Every morning I walk my dogs along a country lane beside my home. 

Today was no different, apart from the fact that there had been a really hard frost through the night. 

Therefore I was able to take some wonderful shots of the natural beauty, on a cold and frosty morning. 

My mind wandered as it is want to do, to my daughter Danielle who is also a single parent to two wonderful little boys Ollie and Jaxon. 

Danielle has been struggling recently because of the narcissistic personality of her children’s father, and other selfish family members, who are not pulling their weight in the child rearing department. 

It takes a village to raise a child, so how come it’s ok to leave one person struggle to do it alone ? 

My grandchildren’s father has decided that he didn’t really want to be a father any more, and spends all of his spare time thinking of ways to make this a reality. 

He spends an inordinate amount of time googling ‘ways to avoid paying child support’ for the two children that he brought into the world, and the rest of his time finding excuses as to why he can’t see them.

Two beautiful little boys who are without a father figure in their life, all because their father is narcissistic.

If you knew how selfish your partner was before you had children with them, would you still do it ? 

Selfishness has come to play a huge part in society to the point that it is now seen as acceptable. 

Then you have the Narcissistic parents, who also decided that parenting wasn’t really for them, but they still continued with the farce, doing whatever makes them happy, at the expense of their own children’s happiness. 

Unfortunately Narcissistic people are producing damaged children the whole world over. Costing the tax payers millions in child support, alimony, and supplementing the finances that the narcissistic individual thinks they shouldn’t have to pay. and shirking the responsibilities that they no longer have time for.

Stretching the national health service to bursting point with the rise in mental health issues in children alone, not including the children who are still trying to heal well into adulthood, from having survived Narcissistic parenting skills.

So should Narcissistic people have children ?

Absolutely Not….

If you cannot love anybody more than yourself, parenting is not for you. Stay childless for everybody’s sake, especially the children’s.

Save a life today, do not procreate selfishly love Betty x

Life Really Does Begin At 50

I turned the grand old age of 50 in March this year. Thats half a century that I have been me.

The age of 50 didn’t get off to a very good start, and like most ages I have been, this one seemed no different. 

Same old shite, just a new year to deal with it. 

Little did I know what was to come. 

After burying trauma for over 40 years, the lid finally blew off. 

Spectacularly.

as if by magic, Maggie the springer spaniel gifted me the perfect image for this blog…

The shit finally hit the fan, and everybody ended up covered in it.

The Narcissistic parents were covered in it, the abusive family members got covered in it, and even the people who were never meant to get covered in it, also got covered in it. 

the culprit…

Because the nasty shit that had been poisoning me for over 40 years was back in its rightful place, with its owners, I am now as free as a bird. I am no longer carrying around a huge amount of poisoned shit, which leaves me free to live the life that I should have always had. 

A life free from the shit that abuse, guilt, and trauma can leave on a person indefinitely, especially if they aren’t aware that they are carrying it. 

Thankfully my eyes finally opened at the age of 50 and 3/4, after a near brush with death, ‘better late than never’ as my old grandad used to say.

My life truly has begun at the age of 50. I am so excited by my next path on this journey that we call life. 

You Can lead a Dog To Water but You Can’t Make it Drink

There’s an old saying that goes ‘You Can Lead a Horse to Water but you can’t make it drink.’

This has rang true throughout my week, so today I put it to the test. 

I don’t have a horse but I do have a dog. I led my dog to the water but I could not for the life of me, make her drink it

Yesterday my teenage son was feeling unwell, Sam hates feeling unwell, but will not take medication of any kind. 

Sam has Autism, he believes that nothing works so what is the point. 

so I decide to try a new tactic, and ran a bath full of healing essential oils, for his nausea and headache. 

I tell him the bath will help him feel better. Sam doesn’t want a bath though, even if it means that getting into it might make him feel better, he still won’t do it. 

‘You can lead a Sam to healing water, but you can’t make him get in it.’

My final thought on the subject came today when I finally came out, after 40 years, as being a child sex abuse survivor to my family. 

Nobody wants to believe it, denial is rife, you can lead the people to the truth, but you can’t make them believe it.  

Be your own truth, people don’t always see what is staring them in the face.

You are not responsible for what other people believe. 

It’s Been A Funny Old Day With Corned Beef And Cannabis

Today has been a funny old day.

Isn’t it strange how one small event can set off a chain reaction, and change the whole course of your day. 

Today I decided to bake a pie, I love baking, and recently even started enjoying eating it too. 

So I take the corned beef out of the cupboard and immediately my mind turns to ‘why the hell does corned beef still come in the most dangerous contraption known to mankind?’

We are heading into the year 2020, cars can drive themselves, living on another planet now seems feasible, so why in gods name does corned beef still arrive packaged like this ? 

It is the only tinned food that I have come across that requires risking life and limb, just by opening it. 

If the key is missing, you may as-well throw the damn thing out, rather than trying to use a tin opener. Tin openers do not work with corned beef tins, this is why they provide the key. No key =no corned beef.

Luckily this week my keys were all intact, and I only sliced my finger once on the jagged edges doing so. 

Then I thought ‘I wonder if people even know the dangers of corned beef tins ?’ and should I tell them?

You can’t really blog about corned beef tins can you ? 

This was the moment that my thoughts turned into another blog. 

A recipe blog, so I then began taking pictures of each step of my pie making, on the off chance that somebody might actually want to know how to make a corned beef and potato pie.

So here it is 2 tins of corned beef (check the key and watch your fingers). 

About 6 large potatoes cooked til soft.

Half an onion finely diced and boiled. 

Give it a good mash, pretend it’s the person who invented corned beef tins.

Rough puff pastry, bought or homemade either is good. 

This is when things took another strange turn. I always decorate my pies. I began to think of what decor my pie would have today, when the old nursery rhyme ‘Sing a song of sixpence’ came into my head.

Whilst I’m internally singing along “4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie,When the pie was opened the birds began to sing, wasn’t that a dainty dish to put before the king”

Suddenly My brain went Ting and there was my 420 wake and Bake gratitude pie, and my blog became something different again.

I gave up on sharing my recipe,  all you need to do next is stick it in the oven for 35 minutes and the pie cooks itself. 

Upon gathering my thoughts at the end of the day, I find the 5 things that I am most grateful for in my life today. 

My gratitude for being able to live another day on this earth, and the 4 cannabis joints that have helped me to enjoy it. 

Although there is no cannabis in my pie,  there is enough of it in me to save the day. 

A slice of gratitude pie for corned beef, cannabis and happiness..

You can have your pie and eat it. 

Why Anger Isn’t Always A Bad Thing.

 

Most of us have gotten angry at some point in our lives. 

Anger is an normal emotion.

Many people believe that anger is a negative emotion, and try to avoid feeling this way. Most people don’t  particularly like feeling angry. It’s uncomfortable, they would rather feel happy instead. 

But what if you couldn’t feel happy ? What if happiness seemed unattainable ? What if you felt that death was the only way out ?

Anger is the emotion that the fight or flight response can produce, when a real threat to life has been recognised.

Anger then becomes a positive response , activating different neurons in an effort to preserve life. 

Anger has helped me to survive. It has kept me alive in a world that has tried its very best to kill me. 

Am I angry ? Damn right I am. 

I have every reason to be. 

Fighting back.. not dead yet !!

Angry Betty has spoken.

Is your anger keeping you alive ? Or are you keeping it alive ? 

Does it have a positive effect for you ? I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

P.S feeling angry doesn’t make you an angry person. 

Urgent !! M.I.A Appeal Launched B.O.L.O.

Breaking news Blogging Betty is missing in action. 

Betty’s Bunch have confirmed that Blogging Betty disappeared around 3 days ago and they haven’t seen her since. 

Betty’s Bunch are the alters with whom she shares a body. They are said to be left devastated by the disappearance of Blogging Betty. 

One of the Bunch, who didn’t wish to be identified, has released a statement saying ‘please come home Betty, were not angry with you, there are 4 unpublished blogs waiting for your return. Since you have been gone, we’ve all been sad. We miss you, life isn’t the same without you.’ 

A spokesperson for the family said ‘Blogging Betty is around 5ft with long blonde hair, with blue eyes.

Will look very similar to the photograph shown, but with a bigger backside a few more wrinkles, and a lot more clothes.

If spotted please contact Betty at the jointatthetopofthegarden.

Your vigilance is much appreciated.

The Sixth Sense Learning Something New Every Day

I snapped this picture last night from the Joint at the top of the garden. 

I see a man on the moon. How about you ? 

I see faces in everything, I have something called Pareidolia.

It’s quite common apparently, so if anybody else has it, speak up, and tell me what you see. 

Today I decided to write my blog about the sixth sense. 

A blog that I read earlier had said to use your own images in your blogs, or you could well be sued. Just because you find an image on the internet, this does not mean that it is yours to do whatever you want with, and as my money is already spoken for, from today onwards I will only use images that I possess in my camera roll.

I’m very new to the whole internet ‘Thing’.

At the tender age of 50, I have thrown myself in at the deep end, and luckily I’m a kick ass swimmer. 

My sixth sense lead me on this blogging path, because I have important messages to share. 

taken yesterday morning whilst walking the dogs, I see a blue sphere in the mist over the valley.

Today whilst meditating I received a message from somebody called Barbara who was murdered. She shared the name Rita, but that was really all I could work out from this message. Short and sweet. 

short and sweet …all 5 ft of me.

I began wondering who this message could be for.

Then I realised that it could be one of my followers, or Facebook friends, but how would i find out? 

Well, by asking them I was told.

So I decided to put it to the test and see if any of my virtual friends would understand this message.

Living with a sixth sense can be so rewarding, it can also be quite overwhelming. 

I have found that if I don’t pass a message on, it hangs around me for days until I do. 

Passing on messages can be very difficult. Some people aren’t ready to hear the message, or are sceptic that there was even a message there in the first place. 

Maggie wondering why she isn’t in the joint too..

Learning something new every day has become a part of my spiritual and physical journey. I love learning, and there’s a whole other world out there that we know so little about.

Only when every eye is opened, will the truth be revealed. 

If my message resonates with anybody, please feel free to contact me. Maybe there is more to this message than meets the eye.

take care and love each other… Betty x