Today I woke as usual around 7 am.
After suffering from depression most of my life, I am very grateful that I have the opportunity to live another day in a human form.
We are not human beings, we are spiritual beings living a human life.
My human journey began with trauma, I was dead at birth, my human journey has been a very traumatic one. Born with Autism, but not diagnosed until the age of 48.
I suffered child abuse from a very young age, and was raised by 2 narcissistic parents.
I developed a personality disorder, called dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder, as a necessity for my human survival.
I have been totally unaware that I had this disorder until the ripe old age of 50.
Being psychic too, has put a strain on my physical and mental health.
After what I class as a near death experience, when I almost took my own life, I stumbled upon my spiritual path.
Spiritual awakening is not about ghosts and ghoulies, although I do see ‘spirits’ I prefer the term energies, and that is a different story altogether.
My spiritual awakening has been the opportunity to see myself for the very first time.
Realising that you are the source of your own happiness, I have found myself at last.
Today is Halloween, I’ve always been afraid of ghosts and spirits, even though I feel them, see them and hear them, they have terrified me all of my life.
when my brother died 20 years ago at the age of 27, I was convinced he would come back to me at some point, and slept with my head under the blankets for 6 years.
I thought that I was going mad for a very long time. I then convinced myself that everybody hears voices, and I rarely mentioned it to anyone.
having mental health problems and hearing voices, tends to cast a different outlook on my psychic abilities. I am not schizophrenic, that must be a really scary disorder to have. I do not have hallucinations, my eyes are never open when I ‘see’ things, and my predictions are always right.
Although I am mad in the technical sense, the reason that I was so scared of my ability was that I had no control over which energies I engaged with, leaving me wide open to good and bad energies alike.
I decided to work on protecting myself, and to work with my spiritual guides each and every day.
Because I am a natural empath I absorb other people’s energies.
When you are not aware of this, you can become seriously depleted in energy yourself.
You become laden down with other people’s negative energies, your own energy field can become blocked, and can carry this blockage around for years without ever knowing.
We have to protect our own energy fields.
My daily routine now consists of protecting my energy and raising my vibrations.
A cold shower in a morning invigorates all of the energy in my body.
I use colour cards to chose what colour I need to focus on that day, then choose my wardrobe accordingly.
I get out for some fresh air, a brisk walk for 20 minutes, then on with general tasks of the day.
Around lunch time I meditate.
I use Oracle cards to direct me on my path.
I meditate with these cards placed over my heart, and ask them to provide me with insight on my journey.
Today I decided to share my reading with everyone as my spooky contribution to Halloween.
The top card represents my past. Straight away I recognised myself as being the ‘yes’ woman, the ‘go to’ woman, I could never say the word no, except to myself.
I was a people pleaser, allowing my energy to be used, time and time again.
The second card is the present, Take a Break.
This is exactly what I am doing at this moment in time, I have taken a break from the outside world, in order to connect with my own spirituality.
The final card is the future,
Dance with life, the title says it all really, I am taking life by hand and leading it onto the dance floor, my spiritual journey is the first dance.
I am looking for my soul tribe to get this dance party started.
If you feel a connection with me, please contact me, I know you are all out there somewhere, I just need to find you.
Love Betty x