#life lessons – WELCOME TO MY INNER SANCTUARY

Not Dead Yet a Newbie Guide to Blogging.

I’m ‘not dead yet’ on my blogging journey, although my readers probably think that I am. I can’t remember the last time I even posted a Blog, but I have hundreds of unpublished drafts clogging up my storage space.

I am into my 7th month of Blogging, and something has been stopping me from hitting that publish button.

I follow many pro bloggers including Ryan Biddulph, who blogs from paradise (who wouldn’t want to) and Cristian Mihai’s The Art of blogging who’s perfected the art of blogging, share vital information for helping understand some of the processes that you go through on your blogging journey.

It is simply a lack of blogging Self belief, or blogging self Worth, that stops us from pressing that button.

I know that I have what it takes to be a good blogger, my intention is to be a good blogger, but this will never happen unless I feel the fear of nobody liking my blogs, feel the fear of nobody even reading them, and feel the fear that this may all have been a waste of time…. and just do it anyway.

Thankfully having mentors by the likes of these top bloggers who share their experiences and helpful tips with us newbies, I realise that this is a process which all bloggers go through, even Ryan and Cristian as successful as they are now, also went through this stage.

So I am facing my fear today and pressing the publish button whether I like it or not. I accept all responsibility for any typos or spelling mistakes found in this blog, because the sooner I hit that button the better. In cases like this editing is just another excuse not to publish, so It’s best to just dive in at the deep end, and paddle like mad.

If like me you are a tiny tadpole swimming in these blog infested waters, watch what the big bloggers do, take all the advice that they give you, because at the end of the day, they’ve already lived the blogging journey that you are now embarking on.

A new Year a new start, so I am starting the year as I mean to go on, just pressing the publish button, one blog at a time.

Where are you on your blogging journey ? are you feeling that fear ? If you are a top blogger do you still occasionally feel it ? I would love to know your thoughts on this.

thanks for stopping by….love Betty

my new neighbour Gertrude, just moved in yesterday.

How To Blog Whilst Walking The Fine Line Between Sanity & Insanity

The view from karensjointatthetopofthegarden.com

Many of you may wonder why my website address has the name Karen in it.

Many moons ago I was once known as Karen. After a huge mental health crisis which almost took my life, a new name change came about.

I was no longer Barren Karen, and I morphed overnight into Blogging Betty.

Unfortunately before the morph took place, our website had already been established.

Changing the name of a domain etc is just not worth the hassle, so in loving memory of our dearly departed Karen, the name will stay.

As most of you are aware I have severe mental illnesses, and spend a lot of time healing my fractured mind, by doing any kind of therapy that I can think of.

baking therapy…one of my many therapies. galaxy chocolate chunk cookies with ice cold milk for dunking.

I am currently sitting in the joint at the top of the garden doing some of my other therapies.

I’ve got one hand on my MacBook and the other one is smoking a reefer.

It’s dark and cold outside, but it’s so quiet, comfy and peaceful up here. I now have electricity and heat, which is a welcome bonus now that its way below zero, and the middle of December. The only sound I can hear is the odd hoot from a Tawny owl looking for his supper.

taken in my garden last week, the unique ice crystals on fallen leaves

I am sitting here meditating, trying to get out of my own way, so that I can blog tonight.

I love Blogging.

Yes I found it late in life, but better late than never, as my old grandad used to say.

Unfortunately because I found it later in life, and because my mental health issues get in the way, I often find myself wondering if I will ever become a top blogger.

I’ve been blogging now for around 6 months. In that 6 months I have learned a lot. Not only about blogging, but about myself.

Being on so many different journeys at once is amazing.

A journey of self discovery, a spiritual journey, healing from trauma, self acceptance journey, and my blogging journey all take up most of my time.

Being an Autistic single parent at the ripe old age of 50, to a 15 year old son who also has Autism with severe Anxiety, and Tourette’s Syndrome, takes up a fair bit of my time too.

Does this mean I don’t have the time to be a top Blogger ?

How much time do you need to spend on your blog to be a top Blogger ?

Since I started blogging I have been following a few top bloggers, but finally found my soul mate in Ryan Biddulph.

He doesn’t know we’re soul mates, but I do and that’s all that counts.

Apart from the fact he’s a very handsome chap, he gives out fantastic advice, and if I had more hours in the day I’m sure I would be a top earning blogger just like him by now.

So as I sit here wondering where I can find the extra hours to follow Ryan Biddulph’s advice, I realise that I am already doing it. Because those of us who walk that fine line between sanity and insanity are juggling so many balls at once, the fact that every time they even publish a blog it’s a huge achievement.

doesn’t mention that it helps with blogging, but ill try anything… my new daily multivitamin for over 50’s not sure whether to laugh or cry…

Little steps on this journey we call life.

keep on keeping on… ‘All Bloggers Rock’ love Betty x

Life Really Does Begin At 50

I turned the grand old age of 50 in March this year. Thats half a century that I have been me.

The age of 50 didn’t get off to a very good start, and like most ages I have been, this one seemed no different.

Same old shite, just a new year to deal with it.

Little did I know what was to come.

After burying trauma for over 40 years, the lid finally blew off.

Spectacularly.

as if by magic, Maggie the springer spaniel gifted me the perfect image for this blog…

The shit finally hit the fan, and everybody ended up covered in it.

The Narcissistic parents were covered in it, the abusive family members got covered in it, and even the people who were never meant to get covered in it, also got covered in it.

Because the nasty shit that had been poisoning me for over 40 years was back in its rightful place, with its owners, I am now as free as a bird. I am no longer carrying around a huge amount of poisoned shit, which leaves me free to live the life that I should have always had.

A life free from the shit that abuse, guilt, and trauma can leave on a person indefinitely, especially if they aren’t aware that they are carrying it.

Thankfully my eyes finally opened at the age of 50 and 3/4, after a near brush with death, ‘better late than never’ as my old grandad used to say.

My life truly has begun at the age of 50. I am so excited by my next path on this journey that we call life.

You Can lead a Dog To Water but You Can’t Make it Drink

There’s an old saying that goes ‘You Can Lead a Horse to Water but you can’t make it drink.’

This has rang true throughout my week, so today I put it to the test.

I don’t have a horse but I do have a dog. I led my dog to the water but I could not for the life of me, make her drink it

Yesterday my teenage son was feeling unwell, Sam hates feeling unwell, but will not take medication of any kind.

Sam has Autism, he believes that nothing works so what is the point.

so I decide to try a new tactic, and ran a bath full of healing essential oils, for his nausea and headache.

I tell him the bath will help him feel better. Sam doesn’t want a bath though, even if it means that getting into it might make him feel better, he still won’t do it.

‘You can lead a Sam to healing water, but you can’t make him get in it.’

My final thought on the subject came today when I finally came out, after 40 years, as being a child sex abuse survivor to my family.

Nobody wants to believe it, denial is rife, you can lead the people to the truth, but you can’t make them believe it.

Be your own truth, people don’t always see what is staring them in the face.

You are not responsible for what other people believe.

It’s Been A Funny Old Day With Corned Beef And Cannabis

Today has been a funny old day.

Isn’t it strange how one small event can set off a chain reaction, and change the whole course of your day.

Today I decided to bake a pie, I love baking, and recently even started enjoying eating it too.

So I take the corned beef out of the cupboard and immediately my mind turns to ‘why the hell does corned beef still come in the most dangerous contraption known to mankind?’

We are heading into the year 2020, cars can drive themselves, living on another planet now seems feasible, so why in gods name does corned beef still arrive packaged like this ?

It is the only tinned food that I have come across that requires risking life and limb, just by opening it.

If the key is missing, you may as-well throw the damn thing out, rather than trying to use a tin opener. Tin openers do not work with corned beef tins, this is why they provide the key. No key =no corned beef.

Luckily this week my keys were all intact, and I only sliced my finger once on the jagged edges doing so.

Then I thought ‘I wonder if people even know the dangers of corned beef tins ?’ and should I tell them?

You can’t really blog about corned beef tins can you ?

This was the moment that my thoughts turned into another blog.

A recipe blog, so I then began taking pictures of each step of my pie making, on the off chance that somebody might actually want to know how to make a corned beef and potato pie.

So here it is 2 tins of corned beef (check the key and watch your fingers).

About 6 large potatoes cooked til soft.

Half an onion finely diced and boiled.

Give it a good mash, pretend it’s the person who invented corned beef tins.

Rough puff pastry, bought or homemade either is good.

This is when things took another strange turn. I always decorate my pies. I began to think of what decor my pie would have today, when the old nursery rhyme ‘Sing a song of sixpence’ came into my head.

Whilst I’m internally singing along “4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie,When the pie was opened the birds began to sing, wasn’t that a dainty dish to put before the king”

Suddenly My brain went Ting and there was my 420 wake and Bake gratitude pie, and my blog became something different again.

I gave up on sharing my recipe, all you need to do next is stick it in the oven for 35 minutes and the pie cooks itself.

Upon gathering my thoughts at the end of the day, I find the 5 things that I am most grateful for in my life today.

My gratitude for being able to live another day on this earth, and the 4 cannabis joints that have helped me to enjoy it.

Although there is no cannabis in my pie, there is enough of it in me to save the day.

A slice of gratitude pie for corned beef, cannabis and happiness..

You can have your pie and eat it.

Is Takiwatanga A Disability ?

Takiwatanga is the Mauri word for Autism.

The English translation is ‘In My Own Space And Time’

For me this sums up my Autism, I am in my own space and time.

I like being Autistic, I’ve had plenty of practice at it, what with me being a silver surfer and all that.

Over the years I have found that Autism only becomes a disability for me when it comes into contact with a society that doesn’t understand it.

My Autism is not a disability to me it is who I am. It becomes a disability when society wants me to be just like them.

Being Autistic becomes difficult only when we are requested to do something that people think we should be able to do, just because everybody else can do it.

So is Autism the disability ? or is it society that disables it ?

What are your thoughts ?

Autism is different for everyone, these are all my own opinions and thoughts.

Your Autism may be completely different to mine, but we all share a common trait, we are all different to the ‘norm’.

But we are all unique in the ‘how different from the norm we are’ department.

Seeing the world through a different lens can be difficult, some people need more help than others, to be able to make sense of a world that sometimes makes no sense.

Learning to embrace your differences, and use them to your advantage can take a lot of time, and requires much more effort than simply being.

Being born with Autism, is like being given a different set of instructions to follow, than those born without it.

Social norms can be learned, but not without considerable effort and energy on the learners part. Those born without Autism do not need to use considerable energy to attain these social norms. They have the correct set of instructions from birth.

The amount of energy used in trying to ‘fit in’ with society can sometimes become impossible to maintain. This leads to becoming overwhelmed, and the meltdowns begin.

Take society out of the equation, I am happy, not disabled, just me Betty.

Add a dose of society and I can easily become disabled Betty.

Is Blogging Autism and Friendship Connected ?

Being a newbie blogger, I am slowly getting used to the idea that Blogging is meant for social people.

I am not a social people.

I am not Anti-social, but I do find it very difficult making and keeping friends.

This is not because I’m an unfriendly person, merely because I do not have the social skills required in maintaining friendships.

I have had ‘friends’ but because of my Autism, and the energy required to maintain friendships, I find it extremely difficult, and even more so as I am getting older.

In ‘real life’ I have 1 friend. Hi Lynda.

I recently fell in love with blogging, and wanted to be the best that I could be at it.

Here comes the crunch, to become a successful blogger you have to befriend other bloggers.

And there lies the problem. I love reading and finding out how other people tick. I find people fascinating. I will read their blogs and advice and think to myself, wow that was a good read, or I didn’t know that. I retain information easily, and always absorb what has been written.

Then something else will come into my mind, and boom, Im now on a completely different thought path, and promptly forget to like the article, or comment on it.

Not because I don’t like, or have nothing to say, simply because I have a memory like a sieve.

So for all of the hundreds of bloggers who’s blogs I read and love .. I love your work, I do have lots I would like to say to you all, but my Autism makes this difficult.

All of my blogging friends are important to me, they have taken the time to read what I have to say.

Time is one of the most precious commodities, and if you have given yours to me freely, then you truly are a friend.

To all of my readers, and fellow bloggers, I appreciate your friendship, keep on keeping on.

love Betty x

What Google Doesn’t Tell You About Books, Dandelions, Prophecy and Controversy

A few months ago, quite by chance I connected with a lady called Joan Hughes. As soon as I connected with Joan, I felt as though I knew her.

I live in the UK, and Joan is from New York. Joan told how she had recently published her first ever novel, and it was then that I had a vision that her book would become a best seller.

I told Joan this before purchasing her book, and then requested a signed copy if she wouldn’t mind.

I have never asked for a signed copy of any book, and being a book lover I have read many.

After explaining that I was psychic, and that our energies had connected to bring her a message or a sign that she was on the right path. she took it all in her stride.

Joan had to purchase her own book from Amazon, then she had to pay extortionate postage fees to ship the book to the UK.

All of this at a virtual strangers request.

I received my book Growing Only Dandelions, with a beautiful inscription from Joan, and I was not disappointed, my opinion remained the same, it would become a bestseller.

I have watched over the months as Joan promotes her book, she has been very proactive in getting her voice heard above the noise in many places and especially on Facebook.

A few weeks ago I noticed a post from Joan saying that she had been banned from sharing, or even participating in an Facebook book club group, because of her controversial novel.

I couldn’t understand why it was deemed to be controversial, and Joan told me that the explanation from the admin of the group, was that because the word ‘God’ was used too many times in her story, and religion can be controversial.

Correct me if I’m wrong but when was the word God deemed controversial ? I felt very strongly that Joan’s book was being hidden from view by certain influential online groups.

Joan’s book has a wonderful story, it touched my heart, and is touching the heart and spirit of most who read it.

Today Joan and I received another sign or Message that things are still on track.

I posted a cheque off to Joan a few weeks ago, to reimburse her any costs involved for my the purchase of my signed copy.

Today I had a message from Joan saying that she had received her cheque, she was gobsmacked at the amount, and did I know the significance of the number 3, or how symbolic it was to her book?

I may be psychic, but I’m not that good, I replied that no, I had no idea of the significance of the number 3 for her or her book.

I had forgotten the amount that the cheque was for, I just converted the $42 that she had paid in the US, with the UK exchange rate, and it came in at £33.

However for Joan it didn’t end there, as she was relaying the incident to her sons girlfriend, who also aware of the significance of 3, she had her own sign, when her battery was showing at 33 %.

They say signs always come in three’s, Joan’s third sign was pointed out to her by her husband, it was right behind her written on the wall.

The story in Joan’s own words.

Joan informs me that she had written this number all the way through her book, 3, three, third, as her way of blessing the book.

I hadn’t noticed when I read it, but I will be sure to notice it the next time I do.

Signs are all around us, it is whether we choose to notice them or not that makes the difference. I believe that Growing only Dandelions is meant to be read by all.

One other sign for me came when I found out that Joan is also the founder of JT’s Law.

It was set up to honour the memory of her Godson JT who died after a choking tragedy.

What Joan doesn’t know is that I have a severe phobia of children choking. I can’t even be around children eating without panicking. I developed this phobia after watching my then 6 year old baby brother, almost choking to death on a boiled sweet. I myself was only 8 years old at the time, and the memory still haunts me to this day.

Finding out that Joan is a crusader in child choking prevention, is also a sign to me that we are connected on a very spiritual level.

Bon voyage Joan… until we meet again 💕 love Betty x