Not Dead Yet a Newbie Guide to Blogging.

the view from my back lane ..

I’m ‘not dead yet’ on my blogging journey, although my readers probably think that I am. I can’t remember the last time I even posted a Blog, but I have hundreds of unpublished drafts clogging up my storage space.

I am into my 7th month of Blogging, and something has been stopping me from hitting that publish button.

I follow many pro bloggers including Ryan Biddulph, who blogs from paradise (who wouldn’t want to) and Cristian Mihai’s The Art of blogging who’s perfected the art of blogging, share vital information for helping understand some of the processes that you go through on your blogging journey.

It is simply a lack of blogging Self belief, or blogging self Worth, that stops us from pressing that button.

I know that I have what it takes to be a good blogger, my intention is to be a good blogger, but this will never happen unless I feel the fear of nobody liking my blogs, feel the fear of nobody even reading them, and feel the fear that this may all have been a waste of time…. and just do it anyway.

Thankfully having mentors by the likes of these top bloggers who share their experiences and helpful tips with us newbies, I realise that this is a process which all bloggers go through, even Ryan and Cristian as successful as they are now, also went through this stage.

So I am facing my fear today and pressing the publish button whether I like it or not. I accept all responsibility for any typos or spelling mistakes found in this blog, because the sooner I hit that button the better. In cases like this editing is just another excuse not to publish, so It’s best to just dive in at the deep end, and paddle like mad.

If like me you are a tiny tadpole swimming in these blog infested waters, watch what the big bloggers do, take all the advice that they give you, because at the end of the day, they’ve already lived the blogging journey that you are now embarking on.

A new Year a new start, so I am starting the year as I mean to go on, just pressing the publish button, one blog at a time.

Where are you on your blogging journey ? are you feeling that fear ? If you are a top blogger do you still occasionally feel it ? I would love to know your thoughts on this.

thanks for stopping by….love Betty

my new neighbour Gertrude, just moved in yesterday.

How To Blog Whilst Walking The Fine Line Between Sanity & Insanity

moonlight through the trees

The view from karensjointatthetopofthegarden.com

Many of you may wonder why my website address has the name Karen in it. 

Many moons ago I was once known as Karen. After a huge mental health crisis which almost took my life, a new name change came about. 

I was no longer Barren Karen, and I morphed overnight into Blogging Betty. 

Unfortunately before the morph took place, our website had already been established. 

Changing the name of a domain etc is just not worth the hassle, so in loving memory of our dearly departed Karen, the name will stay. 

As most of you are aware I have severe mental illnesses, and spend a lot of time healing my fractured mind, by doing any kind of therapy that I can think of.

baking therapy…one of my many therapies. galaxy chocolate chunk cookies with ice cold milk for dunking.

I am currently sitting in the joint at the top of the garden doing some of my other therapies.

I’ve got one hand on my MacBook and the other one is smoking a reefer. 

It’s dark and cold outside, but it’s so quiet, comfy and peaceful up here. I now have electricity and heat, which is a welcome bonus now that its way below zero, and the middle of December. The only sound I can hear is the odd hoot from a Tawny owl looking for his supper.

taken in my garden last week, the unique ice crystals on fallen leaves

I am sitting here meditating, trying to get out of my own way, so that I can blog tonight. 

I love Blogging. 

Yes I found it late in life, but better late than never, as my old grandad used to say. 

Unfortunately because I found it later in life, and because my mental health issues get in the way, I often find myself wondering if I will ever become a top blogger. 

I’ve been blogging now for around 6 months. In that 6 months I have learned a lot. Not only about blogging, but about myself. 

Being on so many different journeys at once is amazing. 

A journey of self discovery,  a spiritual journey, healing from trauma, self acceptance journey, and my blogging journey all take up most of my time. 

Being an Autistic single parent at the ripe old age of 50, to a 15 year old son who also has Autism with severe Anxiety, and Tourette’s Syndrome, takes up a fair bit of my time too. 

Does this mean I don’t have the time to be a top Blogger ? 

How much time do you need to spend on your blog to be a top Blogger ? 

Since I started blogging I have been following a few top bloggers, but finally found my soul mate in Ryan Biddulph. 

He doesn’t know we’re soul mates, but I do and that’s all that counts. 

Apart from the fact he’s a very handsome chap, he gives out fantastic advice, and if I had more hours in the day I’m sure I would be a top earning blogger just like him by now. 

So as I sit here wondering where I can find the extra hours to follow Ryan Biddulph’s advice, I realise that I am already doing it. Because those of us who walk that fine line between sanity and insanity are juggling so many balls at once, the fact that every time they even publish a blog it’s a huge achievement. 

doesn’t mention that it helps with blogging, but ill try anything… my new daily multivitamin for over 50’s not sure whether to laugh or cry…

Little steps on this journey we call life. 

keep on keeping on… ‘All Bloggers Rock’ love Betty x

Life Really Does Begin At 50

I turned the grand old age of 50 in March this year. Thats half a century that I have been me.

The age of 50 didn’t get off to a very good start, and like most ages I have been, this one seemed no different. 

Same old shite, just a new year to deal with it. 

Little did I know what was to come. 

After burying trauma for over 40 years, the lid finally blew off. 

Spectacularly.

as if by magic, Maggie the springer spaniel gifted me the perfect image for this blog…

The shit finally hit the fan, and everybody ended up covered in it.

The Narcissistic parents were covered in it, the abusive family members got covered in it, and even the people who were never meant to get covered in it, also got covered in it. 

the culprit…

Because the nasty shit that had been poisoning me for over 40 years was back in its rightful place, with its owners, I am now as free as a bird. I am no longer carrying around a huge amount of poisoned shit, which leaves me free to live the life that I should have always had. 

A life free from the shit that abuse, guilt, and trauma can leave on a person indefinitely, especially if they aren’t aware that they are carrying it. 

Thankfully my eyes finally opened at the age of 50 and 3/4, after a near brush with death, ‘better late than never’ as my old grandad used to say.

My life truly has begun at the age of 50. I am so excited by my next path on this journey that we call life. 

You Can lead a Dog To Water but You Can’t Make it Drink

There’s an old saying that goes ‘You Can Lead a Horse to Water but you can’t make it drink.’

This has rang true throughout my week, so today I put it to the test. 

I don’t have a horse but I do have a dog. I led my dog to the water but I could not for the life of me, make her drink it

Yesterday my teenage son was feeling unwell, Sam hates feeling unwell, but will not take medication of any kind. 

Sam has Autism, he believes that nothing works so what is the point. 

so I decide to try a new tactic, and ran a bath full of healing essential oils, for his nausea and headache. 

I tell him the bath will help him feel better. Sam doesn’t want a bath though, even if it means that getting into it might make him feel better, he still won’t do it. 

‘You can lead a Sam to healing water, but you can’t make him get in it.’

My final thought on the subject came today when I finally came out, after 40 years, as being a child sex abuse survivor to my family. 

Nobody wants to believe it, denial is rife, you can lead the people to the truth, but you can’t make them believe it.  

Be your own truth, people don’t always see what is staring them in the face.

You are not responsible for what other people believe. 

Is Takiwatanga A Disability ?

Takiwatanga is the Mauri word for Autism. 

The English translation is ‘In My Own Space And Time’

For me this sums up my Autism, I am in my own space and time. 

I like being Autistic, I’ve had plenty of practice at it, what with me being a silver surfer and all that. 

Over the years I have found that Autism only becomes a disability for me when it comes into contact with a society that doesn’t understand it. 

My Autism is not a disability to me it is who I am. It becomes a disability when society wants me to be just like them. 

Being Autistic becomes difficult only when we are requested to do something that people think we should be able to do, just because everybody else can do it. 

So is Autism the disability ? or is it society that disables it ?

What are your thoughts ?

Autism is different for everyone, these are all my own opinions and thoughts. 

Your Autism may be completely different to mine, but we all share a common trait, we are all different to the ‘norm’. 

But we are all unique in the ‘how different from the norm we are’ department. 

Seeing the world through a different lens can be difficult, some people need more help than others, to be able to make sense of a world that sometimes makes no sense. 

one of my art therapy drawings.

Learning to embrace your differences, and use them to your advantage can take a lot of time, and requires much more effort than simply being.

Being born with Autism, is like being given a different set of instructions to follow, than those born without it.

Social norms can be learned, but not without considerable effort and energy on the learners part. Those born without Autism do not need to use considerable energy to attain these social norms. They have the correct set of instructions from birth.

The amount of energy used in trying to ‘fit in’ with society can sometimes become impossible to maintain. This leads to becoming overwhelmed, and the meltdowns begin.

Take society out of the equation, I am happy, not disabled, just me Betty.

Add a dose of society and I can easily become disabled Betty.


Is Blogging Autism and Friendship Connected ?

Being a newbie blogger, I am slowly getting used to the idea that Blogging is meant for social people. 

I am not a social people.

I am not Anti-social, but I do find it very difficult making and keeping friends. 

This is not because I’m an unfriendly person, merely because I do not have the social skills required in maintaining friendships.

I have had ‘friends’ but because of my Autism, and the energy required to maintain friendships, I find it extremely difficult, and even more so as I am getting older.

In ‘real life’ I have 1 friend. Hi Lynda.

I recently fell in love with blogging, and wanted to be the best that I could be at it. 

Here comes the crunch, to become a successful blogger you have to befriend other bloggers. 

And there lies the problem. I love reading and finding out how other people tick. I find people fascinating. I will read their blogs and advice and think to myself, wow that was a good read, or I didn’t know that. I retain information easily, and always absorb what has been written.

Then something else will come into my mind, and boom, Im now on a completely different thought path, and promptly forget to like the article, or comment on it. 

Not because I don’t like, or have nothing to say, simply because I have a memory like a sieve.

So for all of the hundreds of bloggers who’s blogs I read and love .. I love your work, I do have lots I would like to say to you all, but my Autism makes this difficult.

All of my blogging friends are important to me, they have taken the time to read what I have to say. 

Time is one of the most precious commodities, and if you have given yours to me freely, then you truly are a friend. 

To all of my readers, and fellow bloggers, I appreciate your friendship, keep on keeping on.

love Betty x