#mentalhealth – WELCOME TO MY INNER SANCTUARY

How To Blog Whilst Walking The Fine Line Between Sanity & Insanity

The view from karensjointatthetopofthegarden.com

Many of you may wonder why my website address has the name Karen in it.

Many moons ago I was once known as Karen. After a huge mental health crisis which almost took my life, a new name change came about.

I was no longer Barren Karen, and I morphed overnight into Blogging Betty.

Unfortunately before the morph took place, our website had already been established.

Changing the name of a domain etc is just not worth the hassle, so in loving memory of our dearly departed Karen, the name will stay.

As most of you are aware I have severe mental illnesses, and spend a lot of time healing my fractured mind, by doing any kind of therapy that I can think of.

baking therapy…one of my many therapies. galaxy chocolate chunk cookies with ice cold milk for dunking.

I am currently sitting in the joint at the top of the garden doing some of my other therapies.

I’ve got one hand on my MacBook and the other one is smoking a reefer.

It’s dark and cold outside, but it’s so quiet, comfy and peaceful up here. I now have electricity and heat, which is a welcome bonus now that its way below zero, and the middle of December. The only sound I can hear is the odd hoot from a Tawny owl looking for his supper.

taken in my garden last week, the unique ice crystals on fallen leaves

I am sitting here meditating, trying to get out of my own way, so that I can blog tonight.

I love Blogging.

Yes I found it late in life, but better late than never, as my old grandad used to say.

Unfortunately because I found it later in life, and because my mental health issues get in the way, I often find myself wondering if I will ever become a top blogger.

I’ve been blogging now for around 6 months. In that 6 months I have learned a lot. Not only about blogging, but about myself.

Being on so many different journeys at once is amazing.

A journey of self discovery, a spiritual journey, healing from trauma, self acceptance journey, and my blogging journey all take up most of my time.

Being an Autistic single parent at the ripe old age of 50, to a 15 year old son who also has Autism with severe Anxiety, and Tourette’s Syndrome, takes up a fair bit of my time too.

Does this mean I don’t have the time to be a top Blogger ?

How much time do you need to spend on your blog to be a top Blogger ?

Since I started blogging I have been following a few top bloggers, but finally found my soul mate in Ryan Biddulph.

He doesn’t know we’re soul mates, but I do and that’s all that counts.

Apart from the fact he’s a very handsome chap, he gives out fantastic advice, and if I had more hours in the day I’m sure I would be a top earning blogger just like him by now.

So as I sit here wondering where I can find the extra hours to follow Ryan Biddulph’s advice, I realise that I am already doing it. Because those of us who walk that fine line between sanity and insanity are juggling so many balls at once, the fact that every time they even publish a blog it’s a huge achievement.

doesn’t mention that it helps with blogging, but ill try anything… my new daily multivitamin for over 50’s not sure whether to laugh or cry…

Little steps on this journey we call life.

keep on keeping on… ‘All Bloggers Rock’ love Betty x

Breaking News ‘Blogging Betty Found Safe and Well

Blogging Betty has been found safe and well, in amongst the tangled life of Betty’s bunch.

She seems to be suffering from amnesia, and has no idea of her wherabouts for the entire month that she has been missing.

‘It’s all a blur,’ says blogging Betty, who looks well enough sitting in the joint at the top of the garden.

“One minute I was blogging away, making friends and building up my blog following, when bam I woke up, and weeks have passed.

Nothing has been done, karensjointatthetopofthegarden.com remains dormant. I love that the house seems much tidier and festive now,than before I left.

And there’s lots of home made food lying around.

Everybody looks happy..

I only wish that someone had remembered to press publish on my blogs. It’s not much to ask for” she added.

A spokesperson for Betty’s Bunch said ‘we’re just pleased that Blogging Betty is home. She’s a bit grumpy about the fact we forgot about her blogs, but other than that she seems fine”.

“It looks like the clean house won’t last now that Blogging Betty is back, she hates cleaning with a passion. She feels that she has much more important things to do in life than clean” said one member of the Bunch, who didn’t wish to be named for fear of repercussion.

“Blogging Betty’s idea of cleaning is to leave the vacuum plugged in indefinitely, so that if anybody visits she can say ‘oh you’ve just caught me about to vacuum’ (It’s the thought that counts.) Or she’ll hope that the fairies will do it at some point or another.

Blogging Betty is so passionate about writing, that nothing else gets done around the house, explain Betty’s Bunch.

We help out as much as we can, but she doesn’t accept help very easily, we’re working on it.

Blogging Betty is said to be resuming duties with immediate effect, and is now again the leader of the pack.

Blogging Betty would like to thank everybody for their patience whilst she has been missing in action. She thanks the Bunch for holding the fort whilst she was gone, and for baking enough food to feed an army.

She remains optimistic that her memory will return, and her blogging journey will continue on as before. “There’s a lot of work to catch up on, but i’m sure things will only get better”. ‘Don’t ever give up on finding yourself again, it’s always worth it.”

She and the Bunch would like some time to come to terms with the fact that their Triberr is broken. Time to rebuild the foundations that went into creating Triberr from scratch. Betty is sure that the knowledge is in her somewhere, it just may take some time to find it.

Not A Book Nor A Blog, A NABNAB, The Next Chapter.

Today I decided to write neither a book nor a blog.

But what should the title be ? It’s not going to be a book, because I have a personality that won’t allow it. It’s not going to be a blog because Blogging Betty has buggered off somewhere, so what is it ?

Until a better name for it comes along, a NABNAB is what it is.

A NABNAB

The Next Chapter

Once upon a time long long ago, before you and I even existed, lived a tiny ball of energy called Betty.

Betty was a happy little ball of energy, living peacefully side by side with the Trillions of other little balls of energy that existed, before time as we knew it began.

One day Betty was called upon to choose her path, she was so excited.

Betty knew she was special, just like every other little ball of energy, but she knew she was much stronger than some, so she chose the path of most resistance.

One day Betty’s and all of the other little balls of energy’s lives changed forever, when a huge bang scattered the energy balls far and wide, to all corners of the globe.

All of the little energy balls now had a new purpose, in sustaining human life forms.

Energy ball Betty bounced through many many different life forms for millions of years, as energy cannot die, it must always continue on.

Although energy cannot die, it can however become seriously depleted.

And after millions of years of bouncing, Betty became much less bouncy and her energy was seriously depleted.

Most humans had started believing that it was they who were in charge, and even talk of energy balls were rare.

Because of what was happening in the world, and because of the human host she had, Betty Awoke one day to find her energy had almost completely gone. She was lost in a dark place and couldn’t find her way out.

It was then, in the darkest night of the soul, that she was shown the truth. Her truth, who she truly was, and what her final purpose in this life was.

She remembers being placed into a newborn infant, who’s energy was not strong enough to sustain life, an infant who would face so many life challenges from birth that It would need a special kind of energy to survive the traumas that it would endure in its lifetime.

All energy has memory, Betty has many millions of memories stored away deep inside.

Once Betty’s host became aware about how important Betty actually was, Betty began running on full power again. Much to the delight of her host.

Betty is once again a happy little ball of energy., as good as new. All she needed was a bit of TLC, a chance to recharge, daily energy checks and a full MOT.

It suddenly dawned on Betty, that humans were failing to remember how important their energy was, and that the answers to all of their questions lie within themselves.

All energy knows exactly where it should be, positive energy attracts more positive energy, and negative energy attracts more negative energy.

Those energies whose lights were being dimmed by their interaction with negative energies, were failing to remember who they were. They began to yearn for home, even though they were home, a feeling that something wasn’t quite right with the world, then dis-ease crept in.

Betty knew it was her destiny to light up the world, so she decided to use her host as a tool, to share her knowledge, and help to heal a world full of dis-ease.

Unfortunately Betty’s host has severe mental health illnesses, so she doesn’t always get the chance to shine brightly in a world full of darkness.

Now that Betty is back on form, who knows where life will now take her host.

Urgent !! M.I.A Appeal Launched B.O.L.O.

Breaking news Blogging Betty is missing in action.

Betty’s Bunch have confirmed that Blogging Betty disappeared around 3 days ago and they haven’t seen her since.

Betty’s Bunch are the alters with whom she shares a body. They are said to be left devastated by the disappearance of Blogging Betty.

One of the Bunch, who didn’t wish to be identified, has released a statement saying ‘please come home Betty, were not angry with you, there are 4 unpublished blogs waiting for your return. Since you have been gone, we’ve all been sad. We miss you, life isn’t the same without you.’

A spokesperson for the family said ‘Blogging Betty is around 5ft with long blonde hair, with blue eyes.

Will look very similar to the photograph shown, but with a bigger backside a few more wrinkles, and a lot more clothes.

If spotted please contact Betty at the jointatthetopofthegarden.

Your vigilance is much appreciated.

The Benefits of Private Over NHS Mental Health Care In The UK.

Last week I made the decision to pay for private psychiatric help.

I don’t have a great deal of money, being a single parent on disability isn’t exactly living the life of the rich and famous.

Most of my pennies are spoken for weekly, and with the rising cost of living today, our money doesn’t go very far.

I decided that my mental health had reached a point that intervention was needed, and I contacted my local mental health crisis team.

This was 4 months ago, and I am still waiting for urgent help.

Having paid into the NHS all of my life, I am at the end of a very long line of other people just like me, waiting for the same thing.

The NHS mental health service has broken, it has become so stretched that it has finally snapped under the strain. A number of NHS and other psychiatrists have set up a private clinic in an effort to take the strain, and provide the much needed mental health support, at a price.

I’m not quite sure how I came across this website but it had me intrigued. For only £350 I could have an hour consultation, a diagnosis and treatment plan, all recognised by the NHS, and within a few days.

After a long and informative chat with the customer helpline, I actually booked an appointment, and waited patiently for the next 4 days until it arrived.

My appointment was on a secure weblink via a patients portal online, you are given a password to enter your virtual room, where you will meet your chosen psychiatrist.

That night although my anxiety was through the roof, I sat comfortably on my bed, with my PJ’s on, and up popped the psychiatrist on my MacBook screen.

This is a novelty for a 50 year old recluse, who didn’t even own a computer a few months ago.

I felt so comfortable, at ease, and the doctor was fantastic, Dr Axelby was my choice, she was professional, understanding, compassionate and put me at great ease.

Our 50 minute appointment turned into nearly 90 minutes at no extra cost to myself, and I was given a diagnosis of Complex PTSD.

I have been under psychiatric services since early childhood with no diagnosis, it has only taken £350, 1 doctor, and 90 minutes to finally give me the help that I’ve been asking for for over 40 years.

Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. You cannot put a price on happiness.

So who benefits from this innovative idea ?

A. The Psychiatrist, she gets the chance to help people and earn an income at the same time.

B. The National Health Service, who are buckling under so much pressure from mental health related illnesses.

And last but by no means least..

C. The patient, Me, I may be lighter in pocket, but I am also much lighter in my mind and spirit. I have answers to some of the questions that I have been asking all of my life.

How much would you be willing to pay for Happiness ?

I consider it money well spent.

Poor Mental Health can be a Killer.. why not take care of yours today.

love Betty x

How Closing Tabs Can Help You Be More Healthy

We’ve all been there, forgetting to close Tabs on your computer until it starts running slowly, or stops working altogether.

Overload.

There is too much data for our computer to handle.

Our brains work very similar to computers. But are much more superior.

Our Brains have units in networks (Neurons instead of semiconductors. They take in, and compile data. They analyse it and generate output, and so much more.

Most people don’t even realise that they can have hundreds of open tabs in their brain at any one time.

These tabs can be thoughts, feelings emotions, memories, basically any data that your brain has encountered is stored away safely.

We often find that when we worry too much, or become too stressed our brain will keep us awake at night searching for a solution to the problem.

Unfortunately we won’t find the answer in things that happened 20 years ago, or whether our bum looked fat in that dress we wore last week.

the brain will flick from one thought to another in a desperate attempt to find a solution from all of the stored data that it has, and it has lots of it.

The brain is trying to tell us that something isn’t right, it is glitching and needs a reboot.

Because we are often unaware of what is happening we go to the GP, we take pills, but nothing ever seems to work.

Since realising that I have had hundreds of thought tabs open most of the time, I have been working on closing them down. Having all of these tabs open has prevented me from seeing clearly, from thinking clearly, it has basically prevented me from living a happy fulfilling life.

Since closing my tabs down, via medication and meditation I have become so much happier, much more productive, and rarely anxious. This is because I regularly empty the caches from my brain and close unnecessary tabs, just like I do on my MacBook when the need arises.

We all take care of our PC’s in this way, so why not do it for our own super computer ?

Our brains are super computers, they need regular maintenance and servicing, just like any other machine only in a different way.

Have you had your brain serviced lately?

What are you waiting for ?

Don’t leave it until it is too late, anxiety leads to depression, depression can lead to suicide. Take control before you lose control.

Close any open tabs, empty your caches, and show your brain some love today.

love Betty x

Don’t Hold Back Your Blogging and Mental Wellness

Having suffered with severe mental health problems for 40 years, you could definitely say I’m an expert.

I’m an expert in my own mental health issues, which include severe depression with suicidal ideation, severe Anxiety, and one of the most severe personality disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder.

To add to this I also have Autism.

All people have differences, and some people are more different than just different.

I am a lot more different than your average 50 year old Grandmother.

Because I have been trying to keep those differences hidden from myself and the world, I ended up almost taking my own life.

Instead I began writing.

I have never kept a diary, Journal, or any kind of reminder of my daily life, and as I stared writing, I began to see the benefits that journaling had on my mental wellbeing.

I began at the beginning, it is usually the best place to start.

From my birth, through my childhood and into adulthood, I somehow ended up with 80,000 words.

Once my thoughts, feelings and memories came out, I felt a transformation.

Because these things were no longer trapped or hidden, and were there for all to see, I felt free.

As well as meditating, I continued on my journey by joining the Blogging community.

Blogging has become my therapy, my readers are my therapists. my thoughts and feelings are shared by those who read my blogs, as the saying goes ‘a problem shared is a problem halved.’

So what would sharing with the world do ?

Sharing with the world does something good, for myself, and for others like me.

Using a blog as therapy is the way forward.

Embrace your differences, talk about them, share them with the world.

You never know, your story could one day be somebody else’s survival guide.

Be your own inspiration, if you have knowledge of something share it.

Waiting for somebody else to ‘Fix’ your problems is a waste of valuable time. Be proactive not reactive. Love yourself as much as you love others.

Be kind and share always love Betty x

How To Finally Get That Long Awaited Erection.

How To Finally Get that Long Awaited Erection

It is finally here, the day that I have been waiting for for 3 months, the erection of ‘The Joint’ at the top of the garden.

It is definitely here, it is on the back of the van, and they are unloading as I speak, I am sitting here ready and eager to supervise this long awaited erection.

The builder teas are on the table, it is that strong you can stand the spoon up in it, and there are plenty of biscuits to keep sugar levels up.

I have severe mental health difficulties that prevent me from leaving the house, so my life tends to be focused more now on what makes me happy.

My new summerhouse will be the icing on the cake, my very own She Shed, The Joint at the top of the Garden.

3 months ago I had a vision, I would retire from a life that I could no longer sustain in the outside world, and live happily ever after at ‘The Joint’ at the top of the garden. There I would be able to meditate, write, paint, and be at one with nature, and myself.

Here I could not only heal myself, I could heal others with my words.

Just because the temporary accommodation was only a 6ft shed full of spades and tools this hasn’t stopped me from healing myself, or from healing others, I have just been cold and wet doing it.

Being a single parent to an Autistic Teen, who also has Tourette’s Syndrome, can be quite hectic and noisy, trying to meditate in these circumstances can be difficult, with my new She Shed I will be able to meditate in silence, with only the sounds of nature all around me.

Darren & Michael have been hard at it, I’m sure the Ham wraps, crisps and chocolate have helped somewhat.

My Erection is almost fully complete.

And it’s up.. I finally have my erection thanks to these two handsome chaps, Darren and Michael, they did an amazing job and I couldn’t be happier. Their Boss on the other hand is a different story, but I shall save that for my review of this beautiful piece of woodwork.

The smell inside is delicious, it reminds me of an Alpine lodge, I feel like Heidi, and I can’t wait for the snow to arrive.

But think even older that that.. Heidi is now 50, she’s a grandma herself. And she has finally found her retirement home.

Now for the interior design , kizzy seems to like it too.

i’m not sure if she likes the joint, or wants the chocolate ?

To obtain the best possible erection, keep your erectors happy with tea and biscuits, encourage them to do a good job, and your erection will last for many years to come.

Happy erection day to me, love Heidi, Betty and the gang x

What The World Would be like if The Darkest Nights Of The Soul Didn’t Exist

3 months ago I experienced what I can now call ‘the darkest nights of my soul.’

Having suffered Severe Depression for most of my life, and having several close calls with suicidal ideation, the inevitable happened. I finally came as close as I could do to death, without actually physically dying.

My soul was dead, in its place was only darkness. The blackest black you could ever imagine. There was just complete nothingness.. no feelings, no thoughts, no light. No reason left to live.

I cried out for help, luckily the Samaritans answered my cry.

They kept me going for a few days, until the strangest thing happened.

I’ve always known spirituality, and embraced it. even that had provided little comforting the darkness, until suddenly I was shown the ‘light’ at the end of the tunnel.

My Brother, who committed suicide 20 years ago, showed me the way, and as my eyes began to fully open, I found my reason for being here, my reason for living, and my true path.

I believe that this is my final spiritual journey. I believe that people who suffer from depression, are actually light workers, who are unaware of their purpose in life.

They don’t fit in, they feel as though their lives have no meaning. This is because they have lived so long in the grips of their depression, they do not know any other way to live.

These people are usually the kindest, most selfless people that you can meet.

You very rarely find selfish people suffering from depression, this is because they only look after number 1, therefore their path will be an easy one.

I have found that many people who suffer with depression, will usually have spent most of their lives putting others first.

So what would the world be like if the darkest night of the soul didn’t exist ?

It would be full of people who would never be able to truly see the light. Full of selfish people, who will never be able to put others first.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.

I found my way out of the darkness of depression, and into a brand new light, full of happiness, joy, and self love. It can be done, but only you can find the way.

My Healing thoughts go out to each and every one of you, who may have experienced ‘the darkest nights of the soul,’ it is the most painful experience imaginable, you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.

But take a step back, and realise how strong you really are for even being alive, life is hard for us all, but for people who suffer from depression, it can be just too hard for one soul to cope with, on top of everyday demands.

I feel like the luckiest person alive, because I went through it, and have come out the other side, as a completely new person.

I may still have other severe mental health problems that will never go away, but the worst one of all is depression, I won’t be sorry that it has gone.

Look after yourself, if anybody reading this is going through severe depression right now, please feel free to message me, I always try to reply to as many people as I can.

One day my words may save a life..

Love Betty x