Why Autism And School Ain’t As Good As It Used To Be

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Pexels

Having autism myself, which was undiagnosed at the time of my school years, puts me in a greater position to understand my 15 year old son Sam who was also diagnosed with Autism two years ago.

This is the shortened version of the torture we went through during this time as a family. 

Only because I have the knowledge of being a school refuser myself, was I able to understand why Sam was refusing to go to school. 

Sam is highly intelligent. He received the one of highest Sats results in the country at the age of 10, and loved the attention that this intelligence brought him. 

Unfortunately with Sams high intelligence also comes high anxiety. 

Anxiety, if not spotted early and dealt with  effectively, leads straight to school refusal in sam’s case and many other children just like him on the spectrum. 

So how have schools changed to include children who are on the spectrum, or meet the needs of a highly anxious child with ASD ?

Some mainstream schools now have what is known as a hub for AEN students. Those with additional educational needs. 

These usually comprise of children with all different varieties of needs.

Sams learning difficulty is not because he finds the work difficult, it is because of the environment in which he is expected to do it in. 

Although these ‘hubs’ now exist in some schools, children are still expected to just ‘fit in’ with mainstream life. 

Having autism for Sam means that he can’t fit in. The energy Sam needs to try and fit into the school ‘box’ exhausts him, and he can only manage it for so long until cracks begin to appear, and school refusal begins again. 

Sam has been refusing school for around a month now. After government cuts forced him into sharing school transport, meant changing his driver with whom he had built a rapport with over the previous year, who he had gained a lot of trust in, and who had shared his triumphs in getting in to school the previous term.

An accident involving the new taxi driver who left the children to fend for themselves after the accident, and failed to inform anybody about it, all left Sam with whiplash, and a huge rise in his anxiety levels, which has in turn spiralled into school refusal once again. 

Schools are still as ill equipped in dealing with Autism today, as they were 40 years ago. 

There have been no changes in the way that people with Autism are still expected to somehow ‘fit In’ with an outdated education system.

People with Autism now have a name for their differences, and are not labelled as ‘maladjusted’ as I was back in the eighties. Much has been learned about Autism over the last few years, but nothing has been changed fundamentally to the mainstream education system It is still as rigid as it always was. Fit in or else.

Sam seems to be paving the way for himself. He tailor made his own curriculum, and up until a few months ago was doing an amazing job of keeping it all together. 

Unfortunately juggling too many balls in a mainstream secondary school setting has been too much for him to cope with. 

The education system in the UK needs a complete overhaul. 

We are creating anxious and depressed young adults who will be our future generation. 

School anxiety has become a huge problem in the uk, with thousands upon thousands of children, too ill to go to school because of it. 

Instead of treating our children with anti- anxiety medication, the government need take a look at the real problem, instead of just treating the side effects. 

The way things are going we are heading into a generation of un-educated, anxious and isolated individuals, who will have problems well into their adult lives because of it. 

If like me you are fighting to get your child an education suitable for their needs, don’t stop. Don’t give up ,we have to pave the way for future generations of children on the spectrum. Autism isn’t going away, its here to stay.

We all deserve a better future going forward.

Love Betty 

How To Blog Whilst Walking The Fine Line Between Sanity & Insanity

moonlight through the trees

The view from karensjointatthetopofthegarden.com

Many of you may wonder why my website address has the name Karen in it. 

Many moons ago I was once known as Karen. After a huge mental health crisis which almost took my life, a new name change came about. 

I was no longer Barren Karen, and I morphed overnight into Blogging Betty. 

Unfortunately before the morph took place, our website had already been established. 

Changing the name of a domain etc is just not worth the hassle, so in loving memory of our dearly departed Karen, the name will stay. 

As most of you are aware I have severe mental illnesses, and spend a lot of time healing my fractured mind, by doing any kind of therapy that I can think of.

baking therapy…one of my many therapies. galaxy chocolate chunk cookies with ice cold milk for dunking.

I am currently sitting in the joint at the top of the garden doing some of my other therapies.

I’ve got one hand on my MacBook and the other one is smoking a reefer. 

It’s dark and cold outside, but it’s so quiet, comfy and peaceful up here. I now have electricity and heat, which is a welcome bonus now that its way below zero, and the middle of December. The only sound I can hear is the odd hoot from a Tawny owl looking for his supper.

taken in my garden last week, the unique ice crystals on fallen leaves

I am sitting here meditating, trying to get out of my own way, so that I can blog tonight. 

I love Blogging. 

Yes I found it late in life, but better late than never, as my old grandad used to say. 

Unfortunately because I found it later in life, and because my mental health issues get in the way, I often find myself wondering if I will ever become a top blogger. 

I’ve been blogging now for around 6 months. In that 6 months I have learned a lot. Not only about blogging, but about myself. 

Being on so many different journeys at once is amazing. 

A journey of self discovery,  a spiritual journey, healing from trauma, self acceptance journey, and my blogging journey all take up most of my time. 

Being an Autistic single parent at the ripe old age of 50, to a 15 year old son who also has Autism with severe Anxiety, and Tourette’s Syndrome, takes up a fair bit of my time too. 

Does this mean I don’t have the time to be a top Blogger ? 

How much time do you need to spend on your blog to be a top Blogger ? 

Since I started blogging I have been following a few top bloggers, but finally found my soul mate in Ryan Biddulph. 

He doesn’t know we’re soul mates, but I do and that’s all that counts. 

Apart from the fact he’s a very handsome chap, he gives out fantastic advice, and if I had more hours in the day I’m sure I would be a top earning blogger just like him by now. 

So as I sit here wondering where I can find the extra hours to follow Ryan Biddulph’s advice, I realise that I am already doing it. Because those of us who walk that fine line between sanity and insanity are juggling so many balls at once, the fact that every time they even publish a blog it’s a huge achievement. 

doesn’t mention that it helps with blogging, but ill try anything… my new daily multivitamin for over 50’s not sure whether to laugh or cry…

Little steps on this journey we call life. 

keep on keeping on… ‘All Bloggers Rock’ love Betty x

Winter Wonderings, Should Narcissistic People Have Children ?

a small stream prettily frozen over..

Winter is finally here, in the small village on the outskirts of Newcastle, where I live with my teenage son, and our two dogs Maggie and kizzy.

Every morning I walk my dogs along a country lane beside my home. 

Today was no different, apart from the fact that there had been a really hard frost through the night. 

Therefore I was able to take some wonderful shots of the natural beauty, on a cold and frosty morning. 

My mind wandered as it is want to do, to my daughter Danielle who is also a single parent to two wonderful little boys Ollie and Jaxon. 

Danielle has been struggling recently because of the narcissistic personality of her children’s father, and other selfish family members, who are not pulling their weight in the child rearing department. 

It takes a village to raise a child, so how come it’s ok to leave one person struggle to do it alone ? 

My grandchildren’s father has decided that he didn’t really want to be a father any more, and spends all of his spare time thinking of ways to make this a reality. 

He spends an inordinate amount of time googling ‘ways to avoid paying child support’ for the two children that he brought into the world, and the rest of his time finding excuses as to why he can’t see them.

Two beautiful little boys who are without a father figure in their life, all because their father is narcissistic.

If you knew how selfish your partner was before you had children with them, would you still do it ? 

Selfishness has come to play a huge part in society to the point that it is now seen as acceptable. 

Then you have the Narcissistic parents, who also decided that parenting wasn’t really for them, but they still continued with the farce, doing whatever makes them happy, at the expense of their own children’s happiness. 

Unfortunately Narcissistic people are producing damaged children the whole world over. Costing the tax payers millions in child support, alimony, and supplementing the finances that the narcissistic individual thinks they shouldn’t have to pay. and shirking the responsibilities that they no longer have time for.

Stretching the national health service to bursting point with the rise in mental health issues in children alone, not including the children who are still trying to heal well into adulthood, from having survived Narcissistic parenting skills.

So should Narcissistic people have children ?

Absolutely Not….

If you cannot love anybody more than yourself, parenting is not for you. Stay childless for everybody’s sake, especially the children’s.

Save a life today, do not procreate selfishly love Betty x

Is Takiwatanga A Disability ?

Takiwatanga is the Mauri word for Autism. 

The English translation is ‘In My Own Space And Time’

For me this sums up my Autism, I am in my own space and time. 

I like being Autistic, I’ve had plenty of practice at it, what with me being a silver surfer and all that. 

Over the years I have found that Autism only becomes a disability for me when it comes into contact with a society that doesn’t understand it. 

My Autism is not a disability to me it is who I am. It becomes a disability when society wants me to be just like them. 

Being Autistic becomes difficult only when we are requested to do something that people think we should be able to do, just because everybody else can do it. 

So is Autism the disability ? or is it society that disables it ?

What are your thoughts ?

Autism is different for everyone, these are all my own opinions and thoughts. 

Your Autism may be completely different to mine, but we all share a common trait, we are all different to the ‘norm’. 

But we are all unique in the ‘how different from the norm we are’ department. 

Seeing the world through a different lens can be difficult, some people need more help than others, to be able to make sense of a world that sometimes makes no sense. 

one of my art therapy drawings.

Learning to embrace your differences, and use them to your advantage can take a lot of time, and requires much more effort than simply being.

Being born with Autism, is like being given a different set of instructions to follow, than those born without it.

Social norms can be learned, but not without considerable effort and energy on the learners part. Those born without Autism do not need to use considerable energy to attain these social norms. They have the correct set of instructions from birth.

The amount of energy used in trying to ‘fit in’ with society can sometimes become impossible to maintain. This leads to becoming overwhelmed, and the meltdowns begin.

Take society out of the equation, I am happy, not disabled, just me Betty.

Add a dose of society and I can easily become disabled Betty.


3 BS Facts About Cannabis and Mental Health Everyone Thinks Are True

This may be a longer post than normal as I tend to become very passionate about certain issues that affect me. You might need to get yourself a coffee if you want to read it to the end.

Cannabis can cause mental health disorders.

Is this a proven fact ? Would these people have developed mental health disorders if they hadn’t used cannabis ? If somebody can actually prove that these mental health disorders would never have developed if the person hadn’t used cannabis, then that would make it a fact. 

Fiction is when a mere opinion that cannabis can cause mental health disorders is voiced. 

Everybody is entitled to an opinion so I always listen to the opinions of others on this subject. 

I have Autism, I like to deal in cold hard facts, when dealing with something as important as the effects of cannabis on my mental health. 

Seeing as I have some of the most severe mental health disorders there are, including complex PTSD, Personality Disorder, severe depression with suicidal ideation, and acute Anxiety, I do like to keep myself up to date on topics concerning mental health.

Since embarking on my journey using Cannabis as a medication to treat my mental health problems, my ears tend to prick up when I hear both topics mentioned in the same sentence.

Everywhere I go I seem to be hearing that cannabis is dangerous for your mental health. 

I watched a YouTube video yesterday  where even Dr Phil was riding along on the curse cannabis train. 

On his video was a young boy who had anger issues, he was smashing up the house, threatening his mom with a knife, and apparrantly all because he was using cannabis. I switched off at this point when I saw that more BS was to follow.

When I was a young girl I was exactly the same. I was angry all of the time, I was in trouble with the police, I was violent, playing truant from school, running away from home, and threatening my mom, and guess what ? I had never even heard of cannabis. 

I grew up in the 70’s, in a tiny village in Newcastle in the UK.

I suffered a lifetime of abuse and trauma without Cannabis, I developed so many mental health disorders over the last 50 years, and guess what ?  All without the use of cannabis. 

I had lived a very unhappy life until I actually found Cannabis.

After a mental health crisis that almost ended my life, cannabis and myself found each other, and I discovered a Miracle.

Cannabis has been my ‘Miracle cure’ for my poor mental health. 

Since starting to use cannabis daily as part of my medication regime, I also take my prescribed antidepressants, I have found myself.

I have found happiness in my life for the first time ever. After 40 years of trying every medication, therapy, and advice known to man. I have finally found something that helps.

Cannabis isn’t going to kill me, although the tobacco might, I’m a non -smoker apart from my one cannabis joint, 2 or 3 times per day.

I like to live as healthily as possible, I rarely take medication apart from my antidepressants. I do not drink alcohol, alcohol is a depressant and when mixed with a depressive personality, it brings out the worst in us. 

I have never touched an illicit drug in my life, and I have always been careful about what chemicals I put into my body. 

I have requested medicinal cannabis from my GP and psychiatrist, and it is always denied. 

There is no scientific proof that cannabis helps those with mental health problems, is the general reply.

I am walking living proof that it does, so why am I, and every other walking, talking, living proof miracles being ignored ?

why are we being refused a medication that is now perfectly legal to prescribe ? 

And Therein lies the answer to the question.

For a few months now I have been wondering why more and more people have started to say that cannabis is dangerous for our mental health. Why won’t GP’s legally prescribe a drug that they can actually see helping their patient ? 

Mental health is big business now in the UK. The amount of people with mental health issues is on the rise, child mental health has seen a nearly 50 % increase in the last few years. 

My teenage son has severe mental health issues and has never been anywhere near a cannabis plant. 

More and more children are being medicated for adhd, anxiety, depression, and numerous other medications are given out daily without a thought. Some of these have very serious side effects, and we are giving them to our children. The pharmaceutical business is Booming.

Cannabis has been around forever, it is a natural plant. It grows in the soil. it is not made in a laboratory, it is totally natural. It has been used for thousands of years.

I remember years ago when the drug style of choice was glue sniffing. Although I never tried it, I was often around people that did. 

People died from glue sniffing, or aerosol sniffing, and not one of those products were ever made illegal, why ?

Eventually Age restrictions were put in place, so that you needed to wait until you were 16 before you could sniff glue or aerosols. 

I have always been against drugs of any kind, until I ignored advice from professionals, and tried cannabis.

All drugs have risks, I have weighed up the pros and cons of my smoking cannabis, against every other medication available for my needs. 

My conclusion has been that this is the least harmful drug around. 

It can cause weight gain, as cannabis increases the appetite, but for me this actually helps with my eating disorders. My responses and reaction times are much slower when using cannabis, and I have given up driving because of this. 

Slowing down my body is good for me, as I can be manic when not using cannabis. 

My brain is slowed down enough that I can keep up with my own thoughts and feelings. 

Living in a constant state of Anxiety is more dangerous than using cannabis, being suicidal is more dangerous than smoking Cannabis.

When anybody asks me what proof I have that cannabis works in a positive way on mental health, I reply, that since taking cannabis I have found true happiness, I have been able to love myself, It has reduce my anxiety levels to zero, it has enabled me to take control of my own mental health, so that I in turn, can help others around me. And last, but by no means least, I no longer want to die. I want to live again. 

I very much doubt that my mental health could get any darker than it was before I met cannabis. 

Cannabis has shown me the light, at the end of a very long dark tunnel. 

Fact 1 ..cannabis causes mental health problems …BULLSHIT !

Fact 2 ..cannabis is dangerous ..BULLSHIT !!

Fact 3 cannabis is a gateway drug .. BULLSHIT !!!

All opinions are my own.

Please speak to your own GP before trying cannabis, there may be contraindications with other prescribed drugs you may be taking. 

Like any new drug, take note of any side effects as they occur. Cannabis can sometimes cause paranoia, if this occurs stop using and try a different strain. 

Do your own research into whether this could be a suitable drug for you.

You may be surprised by what you find.

take care of yourself first, love Betty x