Life Really Does Begin At 50

I turned the grand old age of 50 in March this year. Thats half a century that I have been me.

The age of 50 didn’t get off to a very good start, and like most ages I have been, this one seemed no different. 

Same old shite, just a new year to deal with it. 

Little did I know what was to come. 

After burying trauma for over 40 years, the lid finally blew off. 

Spectacularly.

as if by magic, Maggie the springer spaniel gifted me the perfect image for this blog…

The shit finally hit the fan, and everybody ended up covered in it.

The Narcissistic parents were covered in it, the abusive family members got covered in it, and even the people who were never meant to get covered in it, also got covered in it. 

the culprit…

Because the nasty shit that had been poisoning me for over 40 years was back in its rightful place, with its owners, I am now as free as a bird. I am no longer carrying around a huge amount of poisoned shit, which leaves me free to live the life that I should have always had. 

A life free from the shit that abuse, guilt, and trauma can leave on a person indefinitely, especially if they aren’t aware that they are carrying it. 

Thankfully my eyes finally opened at the age of 50 and 3/4, after a near brush with death, ‘better late than never’ as my old grandad used to say.

My life truly has begun at the age of 50. I am so excited by my next path on this journey that we call life. 

You Can lead a Dog To Water but You Can’t Make it Drink

There’s an old saying that goes ‘You Can Lead a Horse to Water but you can’t make it drink.’

This has rang true throughout my week, so today I put it to the test. 

I don’t have a horse but I do have a dog. I led my dog to the water but I could not for the life of me, make her drink it

Yesterday my teenage son was feeling unwell, Sam hates feeling unwell, but will not take medication of any kind. 

Sam has Autism, he believes that nothing works so what is the point. 

so I decide to try a new tactic, and ran a bath full of healing essential oils, for his nausea and headache. 

I tell him the bath will help him feel better. Sam doesn’t want a bath though, even if it means that getting into it might make him feel better, he still won’t do it. 

‘You can lead a Sam to healing water, but you can’t make him get in it.’

My final thought on the subject came today when I finally came out, after 40 years, as being a child sex abuse survivor to my family. 

Nobody wants to believe it, denial is rife, you can lead the people to the truth, but you can’t make them believe it.  

Be your own truth, people don’t always see what is staring them in the face.

You are not responsible for what other people believe. 

Why Anger Isn’t Always A Bad Thing.

 

Most of us have gotten angry at some point in our lives. 

Anger is an normal emotion.

Many people believe that anger is a negative emotion, and try to avoid feeling this way. Most people don’t  particularly like feeling angry. It’s uncomfortable, they would rather feel happy instead. 

But what if you couldn’t feel happy ? What if happiness seemed unattainable ? What if you felt that death was the only way out ?

Anger is the emotion that the fight or flight response can produce, when a real threat to life has been recognised.

Anger then becomes a positive response , activating different neurons in an effort to preserve life. 

Anger has helped me to survive. It has kept me alive in a world that has tried its very best to kill me. 

Am I angry ? Damn right I am. 

I have every reason to be. 

Fighting back.. not dead yet !!

Angry Betty has spoken.

Is your anger keeping you alive ? Or are you keeping it alive ? 

Does it have a positive effect for you ? I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

P.S feeling angry doesn’t make you an angry person.