I turned the grand old age of 50 in March this year. Thats half a century that I have been me.
The age of 50 didn’t get off to a very good start, and like most ages I have been, this one seemed no different.
Same old shite, just a new year to deal with it.
Little did I know what was to come.
After burying trauma for over 40 years, the lid finally blew off.
The shit finally hit the fan, and everybody ended up covered in it.
The Narcissistic parents were covered in it, the abusive family members got covered in it, and even the people who were never meant to get covered in it, also got covered in it.
Because the nasty shit that had been poisoning me for over 40 years was back in its rightful place, with its owners, I am now as free as a bird. I am no longer carrying around a huge amount of poisoned shit, which leaves me free to live the life that I should have always had.
A life free from the shit that abuse, guilt, and trauma can leave on a person indefinitely, especially if they aren’t aware that they are carrying it.
Thankfully my eyes finally opened at the age of 50 and 3/4, after a near brush with death, ‘better late than never’ as my old grandad used to say.
My life truly has begun at the age of 50. I am so excited by my next path on this journey that we call life.
Today I decided to write neither a book nor a blog.
But what should the title be ? It’s not going to be a book, because I have a personality that won’t allow it. It’s not going to be a blog because Blogging Betty has buggered off somewhere, so what is it ?
Until a better name for it comes along, a NABNAB is what it is.
The Next Chapter
Once upon a time long long ago, before you and I even existed, lived a tiny ball of energy called Betty.
Betty was a happy little ball of energy, living peacefully side by side with the Trillions of other little balls of energy that existed, before time as we knew it began.
One day Betty was called upon to choose her path, she was so excited.
Betty knew she was special, just like every other little ball of energy, but she knew she was much stronger than some, so she chose the path of most resistance.
One day Betty’s and all of the other little balls of energy’s lives changed forever, when a huge bang scattered the energy balls far and wide, to all corners of the globe.
All of the little energy balls now had a new purpose, in sustaining human life forms.
Energy ball Betty bounced through many many different life forms for millions of years, as energy cannot die, it must always continue on.
Although energy cannot die, it can however become seriously depleted.
And after millions of years of bouncing, Betty became much less bouncy and her energy was seriously depleted.
Most humans had started believing that it was they who were in charge, and even talk of energy balls were rare.
Because of what was happening in the world, and because of the human host she had, Betty Awoke one day to find her energy had almost completely gone. She was lost in a dark place and couldn’t find her way out.
It was then, in the darkest night of the soul, that she was shown the truth. Her truth, who she truly was, and what her final purpose in this life was.
She remembers being placed into a newborn infant, who’s energy was not strong enough to sustain life, an infant who would face so many life challenges from birth that It would need a special kind of energy to survive the traumas that it would endure in its lifetime.
All energy has memory, Betty has many millions of memories stored away deep inside.
Once Betty’s host became aware about how important Betty actually was, Betty began running on full power again. Much to the delight of her host.
Betty is once again a happy little ball of energy., as good as new. All she needed was a bit of TLC, a chance to recharge, daily energy checks and a full MOT.
It suddenly dawned on Betty, that humans were failing to remember how important their energy was, and that the answers to all of their questions lie within themselves.
All energy knows exactly where it should be, positive energy attracts more positive energy, and negative energy attracts more negative energy.
Those energies whose lights were being dimmed by their interaction with negative energies, were failing to remember who they were. They began to yearn for home, even though they were home, a feeling that something wasn’t quite right with the world, then dis-ease crept in.
Betty knew it was her destiny to light up the world, so she decided to use her host as a tool, to share her knowledge, and help to heal a world full of dis-ease.
Unfortunately Betty’s host has severe mental health illnesses, so she doesn’t always get the chance to shine brightly in a world full of darkness.
Now that Betty is back on form, who knows where life will now take her host.
I snapped this picture last night from the Joint at the top of the garden.
I see a man on the moon. How about you ?
I see faces in everything, I have something called Pareidolia.
It’s quite common apparently, so if anybody else has it, speak up, and tell me what you see.
Today I decided to write my blog about the sixth sense.
A blog that I read earlier had said to use your own images in your blogs, or you could well be sued. Just because you find an image on the internet, this does not mean that it is yours to do whatever you want with, and as my money is already spoken for, from today onwards I will only use images that I possess in my camera roll.
I’m very new to the whole internet ‘Thing’.
At the tender age of 50, I have thrown myself in at the deep end, and luckily I’m a kick ass swimmer.
My sixth sense lead me on this blogging path, because I have important messages to share.
Today whilst meditating I received a message from somebody called Barbara who was murdered. She shared the name Rita, but that was really all I could work out from this message. Short and sweet.
I began wondering who this message could be for.
Then I realised that it could be one of my followers, or Facebook friends, but how would i find out?
Well, by asking them I was told.
So I decided to put it to the test and see if any of my virtual friends would understand this message.
Living with a sixth sense can be so rewarding, it can also be quite overwhelming.
I have found that if I don’t pass a message on, it hangs around me for days until I do.
Passing on messages can be very difficult. Some people aren’t ready to hear the message, or are sceptic that there was even a message there in the first place.
Learning something new every day has become a part of my spiritual and physical journey. I love learning, and there’s a whole other world out there that we know so little about.
Only when every eye is opened, will the truth be revealed.
If my message resonates with anybody, please feel free to contact me. Maybe there is more to this message than meets the eye.
Like any wannabe successful blogger I want to be successful.
Success is relative, in my mind I am already a successful blogger because I now have 30 people following my blog on my WordPress site, and around 800 people following my Facebook page. This to me is success, after only 4 months of blogging from scratch, I actually feel like a blogger .
Just because We don’t have hundreds of thousands of followers, or that We’re not making any revenue from blogging doesn’t make us any less of a successful blogger in our own right.
Most bloggers want to be able to reach as many people as they can with their words, and so begins the drive to create an even bigger audience.
I work daily at trying to grow my blog audience, because I believe that people could actually benefit from what I have to share.
I am not trying to sell you fake sunglasses, or sign you up for a time share.
My blog is purely to help, to help me and to help my readers.
So why should you follow my blog ? What’s in it for you ?
Whats in it for you, is what you take away from it. Inspiration, a different perspective on life, insider information about topics that most people have little or no understanding of. You might find humour or empathy in my blogs, you might find spiritual healing, or you might just find something interesting in my stories.
Having had 50 years of living a life that most people wouldn’t believe was actually possible. I have a vast knowledge of many things, and a differently wired Brain that has processed it all.
My blogs have no niche as such, there is something in them for everyone.
In return I get the inner peace and happiness from knowing I have touched another spirit from my soul tribe.
Today I decided that I would share my daily oracle advice with my readers.
I use oracle cards on my spiritual journey, these cards give individual spiritual advice to the reader on their spiritual path.
Today I will share my individual advice given from a different energy plane.
I have never done this before but feel that some of my readers might too benefit as I do from this advice.
If it works for me then why shouldn’t it work for you.?
This card is telling us that we are all our very own oracle. Everybody is capable of tapping into their own sixth sense, and following their own inner guide.
Your sixth sense may be something that you are unaware of.
But just because you are not aware of it, this does not mean that it isn’t there.
This card is saying that we need to focus on raising our vibrations to connect with our sixth sense.
You already have all of life’s great answers inside of you. All you need is the belief in yourself and an ability to rise your energy vibrations to find these answers.
You are the oracle, do not look for guidance outside, for you hold all of the wisdom in the entire universe, in every cell of your body. Do not see the angels and guides as above you, but beside you, without you they have no way of communicating, you are the rainbow bridge.
So maybe ‘what is in it for you’ today is only a tiny seed planted in your mind, that continues to grow until you finally become that rainbow bridge too.
If like me you are already there, say hi, I would love to connect.
Kindness finds kindness eventually, I look forward to connecting with you all love Betty x
After suffering from depression most of my life, I am very grateful that I have the opportunity to live another day in a human form.
We are not human beings, we are spiritual beings living a human life.
My human journey began with trauma, I was dead at birth, my human journey has been a very traumatic one. Born with Autism, but not diagnosed until the age of 48.
I suffered child abuse from a very young age, and was raised by 2 narcissistic parents.
I developed a personality disorder, called dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder, as a necessity for my human survival.
I have been totally unaware that I had this disorder until the ripe old age of 50.
Being psychic too, has put a strain on my physical and mental health.
After what I class as a near death experience, when I almost took my own life, I stumbled upon my spiritual path.
Spiritual awakening is not about ghosts and ghoulies, although I do see ‘spirits’ I prefer the term energies, and that is a different story altogether.
My spiritual awakening has been the opportunity to see myself for the very first time.
Realising that you are the source of your own happiness, I have found myself at last.
Today is Halloween, I’ve always been afraid of ghosts and spirits, even though I feel them, see them and hear them, they have terrified me all of my life.
when my brother died 20 years ago at the age of 27, I was convinced he would come back to me at some point, and slept with my head under the blankets for 6 years.
I thought that I was going mad for a very long time. I then convinced myself that everybody hears voices, and I rarely mentioned it to anyone.
having mental health problems and hearing voices, tends to cast a different outlook on my psychic abilities. I am not schizophrenic, that must be a really scary disorder to have. I do not have hallucinations, my eyes are never open when I ‘see’ things, and my predictions are always right.
Although I am mad in the technical sense, the reason that I was so scared of my ability was that I had no control over which energies I engaged with, leaving me wide open to good and bad energies alike.
I decided to work on protecting myself, and to work with my spiritual guides each and every day.
Because I am a natural empath I absorb other people’s energies.
When you are not aware of this, you can become seriously depleted in energy yourself.
You become laden down with other people’s negative energies, your own energy field can become blocked, and can carry this blockage around for years without ever knowing.
We have to protect our own energy fields.
My daily routine now consists of protecting my energy and raising my vibrations.
A cold shower in a morning invigorates all of the energy in my body.
I use colour cards to chose what colour I need to focus on that day, then choose my wardrobe accordingly.
I get out for some fresh air, a brisk walk for 20 minutes, then on with general tasks of the day.
Around lunch time I meditate.
I use Oracle cards to direct me on my path.
I meditate with these cards placed over my heart, and ask them to provide me with insight on my journey.
Today I decided to share my reading with everyone as my spooky contribution to Halloween.
The top card represents my past. Straight away I recognised myself as being the ‘yes’ woman, the ‘go to’ woman, I could never say the word no, except to myself.
I was a people pleaser, allowing my energy to be used, time and time again.
The second card is the present, Take a Break.
This is exactly what I am doing at this moment in time, I have taken a break from the outside world, in order to connect with my own spirituality.
The final card is the future,
Dance with life, the title says it all really, I am taking life by hand and leading it onto the dance floor, my spiritual journey is the first dance.
I am looking for my soul tribe to get this dance party started.
If you feel a connection with me, please contact me, I know you are all out there somewhere, I just need to find you.
She had been fighting chronic COPD for a few years, and she died peacefully from pneumonia at the age of 70. Leaving behind 3 devastated children who had already lost their father, my uncle, to an aggressive brain tumour, when only in his 50’s.
The day aunt Joyce died I was doing my daily meditation, when there she was, as large as life, in my third eye.
She told me she was happy, and was rubbing her hands with glee at the thought of attending her own funeral the following week.
Aunt Joyce loved a bit of gossip, especially as she and her sister didn’t get along very well in life, and she was looking forward to her final hoorah to the world.
She did ask me to wear a cap for her funeral, and not to take it off during the service, just to annoy her sister, but we compromised on me wearing my noise cancelling headphones instead.
The day of the funeral finally arrived , when the family would gather together at the crematorium, and pay their last respects to Joyce.
Joyce’s sister completely blanked me, as was expected, the funeral was going well with no visible signs of Joyce actually being there, until the song ‘I am sailing’ by Rod Stuart began to play,.
As the curtains closed around her coffin, there she was, on a ledge above the curtains strumming a fake Guitar, and singing her heart out.
I actually laughed out loud but managed to stop myself before anybody other than my daughter who was sitting next to me, noticed that I was laughing, as Joyce went into her place in the next world.
I was not sad that Joyce had gone, she had been wanting to join her husband, the love of her life, since he had left this Earthly plane.
She was happy, and I was happy for her.
Being happy at a funeral isn’t really the done thing, so after relating the incident to her three grieving children, my cousins, who already know I am strange, but accept me anyway, I left knowing that I had given some comfort to those who needed it. Farewell Aunt Joyce, until we meet again.
I have suffered from depression for most of my life.
Once the winter months start approaching, and the days become shorter, darker and colder, my depression can get much worse. Even those of us who don’t suffer from depression all year round, can still get a form of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD.
SAD affects most people during the winter months, mainly from November to March.
It has been linked to a lack of sunlight, and the reduction of serotonin levels in the brain.
Once spring arrives, the weather is warmer, days are longer and lighter and brighter, the person’s serotonin levels rise once more, and they are back to their pre-sad selves.
I have been using light Therapy for 3 months now in an effort to cure my depression.
I live in a small part of England in a city called Newcastle. I live on the edge of Scotland. we have our own weather front in my village. We are situated at the top of a huge hill with valleys below.
When it snows in our part of the world, everything stops. It is a place where we can get cut off from the surrounding villages quite easily.
It can be cold and windy in the summer months, and we even had snow in August this year.
I started using light therapy because I knew I was lacking the sunlight that I needed.
I’m pretty sure I was meant to live in a sunny country, but something went wrong and I ended up in Newcastle.
I purchased a UV sun lamp for the days when there is no sun, and I meditate daily in sunlight.
Today it is cold, it is blowing what we call a Hoolie in Geordie Land, for the uninitiated this is similar to a hurricane, only the English version.
But both look like this.
It is very cold with a windchill of -100 if you get my drift.
But there’s blue sky and the sun is shining, you don’t want to miss this kind of opportunity when it presents itself.
Having used both natural sun and a Therapy lamp, I can safely say that the suns rays cannot be beaten on effectiveness in treating my depression. My serotonin levels must be sky high, I am happy for the first time in forever.
Even if it is cold, I still toddle up to the joint at the top of the garden, with my winter woolies, hot water bottle in hand, and gratitude for a beautiful sunny day in Autumn.
The neighbours are probably wondering why I am presently lying on my sun lounger, in the freezing cold wind, with my hat, coat and boots on, sun bathing in winter.
I think that they are used to me by now.
I know it doesn’t look like a normal thing to be doing, but I am anything but normal, but if they could only feel what I could feel, they would all be out doing it themselves.
A neighbour Lynda has confided that she too suffers from SAD, so watch this space for my new winter sun bathing neighbour.
Give it a go, if you have depression what do you have to lose ?
People underestimate the importance that sunlight plays in our daily lives, on our mental and psychical health. Just like In nature, we need sunlight to survive.
Invest in a UV lamp if you don’t get much sun in the winter months. They won’t break the bank at around £30 – £40 on Amazon, and it could be just what you need.
It is finally here, the day that I have been waiting for for 3 months, the erection of ‘The Joint’ at the top of the garden.
It is definitely here, it is on the back of the van, and they are unloading as I speak, I am sitting here ready and eager to supervise this long awaited erection.
The builder teas are on the table, it is that strong you can stand the spoon up in it, and there are plenty of biscuits to keep sugar levels up.
I have severe mental health difficulties that prevent me from leaving the house, so my life tends to be focused more now on what makes me happy.
My new summerhouse will be the icing on the cake, my very own She Shed, The Joint at the top of the Garden.
3 months ago I had a vision, I would retire from a life that I could no longer sustain in the outside world, and live happily ever after at ‘The Joint’ at the top of the garden. There I would be able to meditate, write, paint, and be at one with nature, and myself.
Here I could not only heal myself, I could heal others with my words.
Just because the temporary accommodation was only a 6ft shed full of spades and tools this hasn’t stopped me from healing myself, or from healing others, I have just been cold and wet doing it.
Being a single parent to an Autistic Teen, who also has Tourette’s Syndrome, can be quite hectic and noisy, trying to meditate in these circumstances can be difficult, with my new She Shed I will be able to meditate in silence, with only the sounds of nature all around me.
Darren & Michael have been hard at it, I’m sure the Ham wraps, crisps and chocolate have helped somewhat.
My Erection is almost fully complete.
And it’s up.. I finally have my erection thanks to these two handsome chaps, Darren and Michael, they did an amazing job and I couldn’t be happier. Their Boss on the other hand is a different story, but I shall save that for my review of this beautiful piece of woodwork.
The smell inside is delicious, it reminds me of an Alpine lodge, I feel like Heidi, and I can’t wait for the snow to arrive.
But think even older that that.. Heidi is now 50, she’s a grandma herself. And she has finally found her retirement home.
Now for the interior design , kizzy seems to like it too.
To obtain the best possible erection, keep your erectors happy with tea and biscuits, encourage them to do a good job, and your erection will last for many years to come.
Happy erection day to me, love Heidi, Betty and the gang x
3 months ago I experienced what I can now call ‘the darkest nights of my soul.’
Having suffered Severe Depression for most of my life, and having several close calls with suicidal ideation, the inevitable happened. I finally came as close as I could do to death, without actually physically dying.
My soul was dead, in its place was only darkness. The blackest black you could ever imagine. There was just complete nothingness.. no feelings, no thoughts, no light. No reason left to live.
I cried out for help, luckily the Samaritans answered my cry.
They kept me going for a few days, until the strangest thing happened.
I’ve always known spirituality, and embraced it. even that had provided little comforting the darkness, until suddenly I was shown the ‘light’ at the end of the tunnel.
My Brother, who committed suicide 20 years ago, showed me the way, and as my eyes began to fully open, I found my reason for being here, my reason for living, and my true path.
I believe that this is my final spiritual journey. I believe that people who suffer from depression, are actually light workers, who are unaware of their purpose in life.
They don’t fit in, they feel as though their lives have no meaning. This is because they have lived so long in the grips of their depression, they do not know any other way to live.
These people are usually the kindest, most selfless people that you can meet.
You very rarely find selfish people suffering from depression, this is because they only look after number 1, therefore their path will be an easy one.
I have found that many people who suffer with depression, will usually have spent most of their lives putting others first.
So what would the world be like if the darkest night of the soul didn’t exist ?
It would be full of people who would never be able to truly see the light. Full of selfish people, who will never be able to put others first.
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
I found my way out of the darkness of depression, and into a brand new light, full of happiness, joy, and self love. It can be done, but only you can find the way.
My Healing thoughts go out to each and every one of you, who may have experienced ‘the darkest nights of the soul,’ it is the most painful experience imaginable, you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.
But take a step back, and realise how strong you really are for even being alive, life is hard for us all, but for people who suffer from depression, it can be just too hard for one soul to cope with, on top of everyday demands.
I feel like the luckiest person alive, because I went through it, and have come out the other side, as a completely new person.
I may still have other severe mental health problems that will never go away, but the worst one of all is depression, I won’t be sorry that it has gone.
Look after yourself, if anybody reading this is going through severe depression right now, please feel free to message me, I always try to reply to as many people as I can.
The oddest place you will find natural born healers is on social media of course… or at the top of the garden playing with their grandchildren, or meditating.
I am a natural born healer, I have known this for centuries, recognised it for most of my life, and finally accepted it as my destiny quite recently.
Natural born healers often find out quite by chance as I did, after a near death experience.
There have been so many signs over the years, signs that I have chosen to ignore, I felt that I was different enough from society without having to deal with psychic abilities too.
I was born dead, I have Autism, as well as many other mental health disorders. I thought that was different enough for one lifetime.
I believe in reincarnation. I know that I was once an Indian Shaman in a previous life, and this is where my inherent healing abilities originate.
I was told a few years ago by a psychic medium myself, that this was going to happen, but as usual chose to ignore his predictions, as they scared me.
It could have been the fact that this man could not stop touching me, he was really embarrassed about it too.
I asked him “do you normally touch people when you are doing readings ?’ and he replied “no never”. The poor man couldn’t stop apologising, but he obviously knew more than I did, and was getting his healing fix.
Everybody is born with the ability to heal, but it isn’t practiced enough now in this new world, where there is a pill for every ill .
Years ago, way before doctors and pills were even a twinkle in the sky, every village had their healer.
Whether it was the Witch who sold potions, or the shaman shaking a chicken around, each and every village or tribe, had a healer.
Where did they all go ?
Well they didn’t actually go anywhere, we are still here, in the shape of alternative healing practitioners, from Reiki to acupuncture. Unfortunately most people tend to use these as a last resort, once all prescription medicines have failed.
Because people cannot see psychic healing taking place, they haven’t swallowed a pill, or been injected with anything, they don’t believe it could be possible.
Therein lies the problem.
People now believe that there is a magic pill for everything.
The power of our brains and bodies, are far wider that the general population believe is true.
All it takes is a Belief in something bigger than yourself, to heal.